Tavayogi once told me that a Siddha cannot be caged. He has to be free to soar. Agathiyar has left me free after giving me the tools and the practice, teaching and guiding me. Now I am free to pick up Sariyai and visit temples as and when I choose. I am free to take up Kriyai and perform puja and rituals as and when required. I am free to take up Yogam, and he tells me I shall know which, what, and when to do. I am freed from the old school of thought that has clamped my feet. I am not attached to any affiliate, associations, movements, centers, or bodies. Neither am I tied down to a particular religion, faith, or belief. He has left me to soar the skies. He did not have me depend on others, but instead, he connected me with the Prapanjam for all my needs. I need not go in search, but he brings me what is required for that moment.
If in coming through my nephew in 2001, he passed me the Vasudeva mantra to help clear the knots, shackles and the obstacles and pave the way for me to meet my guru; If in the following year he revealed and had me work on my past Karma that marred my fate, and in charting a new destiny had be go on a pilgrimage to temples and as promised brought me to my very first guru Supramania Swami of Tiruvannamalai in 2003; If he sent Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal to our shores and had him take me in as an intern in 2005 and teach me Yogam in 2007; If to acknowledge acceptance to his fold, he sent many youths over to watch and participate in my home puja beginning in 2013 and gave birth to Agathiyar Vanam Malaysia (AVM); If he brought us to do charity to open up our hearts and bring forth compassion from within through Amudha Surabhi; he had me wind all these up and brought the shutters down in 2019. Henceforth, it was a solo journey of solitude and quiet. He "crippled" me to restrict my movements and had me stay indoors unless it was called for. He had me take "magic" portions to initially clear and later strengthen the physical body to help it contain the energies to be awakened. Today, as I struggle with these energies, he has me learn to ignore the pain and discomfort. I understand that these are the moments where the soul that is embodied in the very cells within is trying to free itself and soar in the skies, merging with the Prapanjam.