Agathiyar, coming through a devotee through a phone call sometime back, relayed a "warning" on the impending changes that were to take place within and prepared me ahead, asking me to get some herbal preparations from Palani. I reached out to the Peedham, but they disappointed me. A friend and Siddha physician I knew locally came to my assistance instead, providing it to me, adding that Agathiyar had told him to prepare it much earlier, and he had done so, not knowing to whom it would reach. He passed it on to me, telling me that he now knew that it was meant for me. Learning from him how he gathers and prepares these herbal medicines alone, I asked him why he did not take in a recruit and train him to assist. He replied that no one was keen to learn, but many came by wanting to market his products. That is the sad state of affairs. If the goose that lays the golden egg is no more, where would these marketing people turn to for the golden eggs?
What Agathiyar foresaw is happening. For months on end, I had a tightness and pain in my lower back, hips, and right buttock. I had learned to bear witness to it after going through this phase beginning in 2010, 2011, 2012, 2016, and 2018. I applied and consumed what I was told earlier. What is different now is that there is a tightness in the neck and shoulders too, and the left side of the face ached for a couple of days now, right till the gums, teeth, and eye sockets. Both arms ache while the hands become numb. The nerves are tight. I have been vomiting bile and phlegm and expelling wind. But throughout the pain and discomfort, there was a ray of hope - the flowering in the crown was going on and felt subtle. If I feared that there could be something medically wrong with me in the initial years of this "attack" back then, I guess I have become accustomed to it this time around. I know that Agathiyar shall take care of things. My life is in his hands. This is yet another phase that I need to go through.
Agathiyar and Tavayogi have "beaten" me at every juncture so that I shall "shine". Right from the moment of the very first Nadi reading in 2002, where he trashed my joy and arrogance in thinking that I was special when he asked me to build a temple for him, he taught me to let go. When I met Tavayogi in 2005, where he stopped me from worshipping him when I touched his feet, and instead pointed to a pair of wooden sandals placed at the local Peedham that he had come to officiate, asking that I fall at the feet of Agathiyar, he taught me to let go. When I was rejoicing in having him come over to my home and thanking him as I sent him off, where he "blasted" me telling me that I was living in Maya, thinking that he was a holy man and instead, he told me to hold on to Agathiyar, he taught me to let go. When I was with him at his Kallar ashram a couple of months later, when a devotee showed him a Rudraksha bead, enquiring if he could wear it, where giving him the green light, he turned to me, telling me, "We do not need it" and immediately turning his attention to the nine gem-studded gold ring I wore on my finger, and enquiring about it, I knew that I had to drop that too, he taught me to let go. I dropped the Rasamani that I was wearing on me that instant, too. He taught me to let go. He "undressed" me and left me "naked". I had only Agathiyar as a "cover" now. Coming as a bronze statue in 2010, Agathiyar, on his part, had me pass him on to another devotee in 2023. He taught me to let go. Sending some youths over to my home in 2013 to watch and participate in my home puja, he wound it all up in 2019. He taught me to let go.
If Tavayogi and Agathiyar had me learn to let go, seeing my disinterest to receive the gifts that he offered beginning with healing others, reading the Nadi, becoming a patron of a center, and a temple, Agathiyar tempted me with a position of a guru but retracted the offer immediately telling me he had something else for me. There is no end to the showering of his grace and gifts.
Finally, he tells me that I need to let him go too, for how else could we become one, he asks. With Tavayogi, according to Agathiyar, giving me a treasure in the form of Asanas and Pranayama techniques in 2007, that activated the dormant energies in me; with Supramania Swami of Tiruvanamalai giving me the merits of his 40-year austerities the same year; with Agathiyar coming to break the bund and release the energies that had stagnated in 2023, their grace showered on me, doing wonders. I am grateful to them. I wonder what I did to deserve their grace. Agathiyar has me do nothing these days. He tells me to witness the changes and transformation taking place, and share it with readers, the very obvious being that I am growing black hair at my age of 66. What else does he need to do to show us that transformation and changes are possible, he asks.