Many things said, seen, heard, and read that did not make sense in the past have begun to make some sense after having experienced it and have come to be understood only now after some 44 years. My solo journey of worship to the deities began at age 20 in 1980 when I landed my first job in a coastal town. I had so much time on my hands after office hours that I indulged in prayer and visited several temples that were a stone's throw away. That is when I indulged and immersed myself fully in prayers, japam, and recitation of mantras and songs. As these were the days before the internet encroached and came to envelop our lives, I searched in the books I could lay my hands on for songs that I could use at prayer. I had an altar made and laid out the many pictures of deities and worshipped them both at dawn and dusk daily. It brought contentment, peace, and joy as I looked forward to yet another day where I could sit with God.
But when life dealt blows to those close to and around me I could not understand why it was taking place. God whom I saw as a loving figure was dealing blows to them and taking away their lives. I could not accept it. I had so many questions in my mind then as what I read of God did not tally with what took place. After 8 years, in 1988, Lord Shiva took mercy on me, seeing my anguish in tons of questions relieved me. He came in a dream and simply told me to shelf all my questions to a later date. I did just that. I went a step further and stopped all forms of worship at home and in the temples, and all my reading and discussions with others. The day that the Lord mentioned came some 13 years later in 2002 when I understood its reasons. Agathiyar spoke about Karma in my first Nadi reading. I could connect all that I had seen around me take place, heard, and read to the underlying factor called cause and effect or Karma. In preparing me for this day of revelation, Agathiyar mysteriously sent my nephew a year earlier with a message from his Paramaguru Gopal Pillai having come through a devotee. It was the groundbreaking ceremony in a sense. I was passed on the Vasudeva mantra through an energy initiation coming through my nephew. I was told to observe the Navaratri festival that was only days away. I did as told. It paved the way for me to meet my Moola guru and read the Nadi the following year. In the reading Agathiyar who spoke about the effects of Karma had me carry out remedies and pilgrimages. He paved the way for me to make my maiden journey to India that otherwise was never in my thoughts. He also hinted that I shall meet my guru in physical form. I was blessed to have not one, but two gurus come into my life. If Supramania Swami of Tiruvannamalai in bringing his guru Yogi Ramsuratkumar to sit with us and chant in 2005 introduced me to God in the form of walking gurus and discipleship to them, Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal in introducing Homam fanned the flame of devotion in me and drew down the bridge that enabled the Siddhas and gurus to come down to us and work on us. Agathiyar in the meantime brought other Siddhas to guide me through the numerous Nadi readings. Tavayogi came by and showed us Yoga Asanas and Pranayama officially in 2007 reinforcing the practice that I picked up from books in my bachelor days. Agathiyar came as a bronze statue into my home in 2010 and we conducted libation to him. He soon sent many over to my home after their Nadi readings to watch and participate in our home prayers. The act of carrying out feeding and charity that I got to sample at Tavayogi's ashram was continued on our soils with the aid of these youths. My home took on the name Agathiyar Vanam Malaysia (AVM) and the charity arm of Amudha Surabhi (AS). As we progressed along the way under the watchful eyes of the Siddhas and our gurus, in acknowledging our work Agathiyar and Lord Murugan gave the names Gnana Kottam and Agathiyar Tapovanam too.
Just as one traverses the ground in Sariyai, Kriyai, and Yogam to arrive at Gnanam, the four phases that are often mentioned in the sacred texts and by the Siddhas, BKS Iyengar in his "Light on the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali", HarperCollins Publishers India, 1993, introduces us to Patanjali's lists of four padas that are similar in nature. If Agathiyar told us that he was only giving us the practices that the Siddhas have tried and excelled in, BKS Iyengar taught from experience and is considered the world's greatest teacher of yoga today.
Samadhi pada, (that Sariyai brings on), "deals with the science of disciplining the fluctuations of consciousness beginning with the code of conduct". Sadhana pada (as in Kriyai and Yogam) "gives detailed information regarding the practices". Vibhuti Pada then "explains the hidden wealth which comes through these practices". Kaivalya pada which "speaks about cultivating actions that cannot produce reactions" comes with the dawn of Gnanam "so that consciousness may dissolve in the light of the soul for the very being."
If our parents started us off with Samadhi pada which was devotion to the deities, the guru comes to bring us to carry out Sadhanas in the Sadhana pada. We then step into the Vibhuti pada moving towards the inner quest (Antaranga Sadhana). By having us go within on an internal journey, it gives insight into the very purpose we came for. Finally, "In Kaivalya pada we lose our identities and merge in the soul (emancipation)" says BKS Iyengar, who reversed his fate by taking hold of Yoga.
After six years Agathiyar brought the shutters down on AVM and AS. He told us to go within just in time as the pandemic spread its wings. Meanwhile, as the Nadi readers returned to India, the Siddhas and deities came through devotees to continue to guide us. As BKS Iyengar in revealing Patanjali's "Yoga Sutras", says that Patanjali listed ways to attain Yoga or union, beginning with the control and mastery of external issues and finally bringing one within, the teachings took a turn from rituals and practices to that of divine and spiritual knowledge (Atma Gnanam). It was time we met our soul (Atma Tarisanam).
From Yama (or restraints and ethics of behavior); Niyama (or observances); Asana (or physical postures); Praṇayama (or control of the prana (breath) and Pratyahara (or withdrawal of the senses), that Iyengar classifies as a forward journey, Patanjali takes us on a reverse path, or a return journey now moving inwards, from the body towards the soul. Patanjali shows the way to how one can reach the abode of the soul forever so that all the actions he performs in the world, will not reflect any reaction, hence severing the fine thread of birth and rebirth. It is time I tried to carry out Dharaṇa or concentration and Dhyana or meditation that leads to the state of Samadhi or absorption. As Devaki Ma in sharing glimpses of her guru Yogi Ramsuratkumar says that the Yogi says that life is a movie, we sit back and watch the movie that goes by on the widescreen of life.
I wrote in an earlier post questioning if two people see and understand a single thing differently, how can that be real? As our worldly perspective tends to vary with where we stand and the knowledge that we have gathered, is that why the world is said to be an illusion or Maya? The unseen and unheard seem to be more real than this world. When I attended a course on Neuro-Linguistic Programming at the office back during my working days, the presenter held up an ATM card and asked us to describe it. We all answered that it was an ATM card. Asking us to describe further we each had added on to what appeared real before our eyes. After hearing us out, he brought us to think out of the box. To the one seated directly before him, he only saw a fine line. The one seated to one side saw the front of the card embossed with the particulars of the cardholder and the one who sat on the other side saw the back of the card with the conditions that came with ownership written in fine print. But the card was one. This is how we see life too.
Swami Vishnu-Devananda in his "Meditation and Mantras", Motilal Banarsidass Publishers Pvt Ltd, Delhi, Om Lotus Publications, 1978, writes that "What is perceived or cognized by an individual is entirely dependent upon the orientation and tendencies of that mind and not on the object itself, for the object is one." He enlightens us further. "The object remains the same, but when it is perceived by more than one mind there immediately arise varying views of that object. It is the individual attitudes or karmic situations that determine how a person sees something."
He adds that an object is either known or unknown to the mind because of the coloring of the mind. Could this be the various veils of colors that Ramalinga Adigal reveals as hiding the truth from our eyes, that deceive us, and create an illusion? Patanjali says that we are not of the body; neither are we the mind. We are the witness, Purusha, the self. Sitting alone in silence, only the Purusha remains. The Purusha witnesses the thought go by and over time loses its attention on it too. What dawns on us during these moments is self-knowledge. Patanjali concludes, "For a person who has transcended Prakriti, the qualities of nature come to an end for they, the three Gunas, have fulfilled their purpose - which is to push him through growth and to create the field for transformations on the path to self-realization." How wonderful. Reaching the finale. Kaivalya is that state in which the Gunas attain equilibrium and merge in their cause, having no longer a purpose. The soul is established in its true nature, which is pure consciousness. End.
The soul had been replaced with deities over time. If we had drawn the curtains at the temple's sanctums and revealed the deities in stone for ages, when are we going to draw the curtain of ignorance and see the soul that resides in us as life within us? That is the day of the dawning of Gnanam. The soul henceforth comes both as God and guru and enlightens us in all matters tapping from the Akashic records and the vast libraries in Ether. I recall Tavayogi's words which he autographed my copy of his first book "Andamum Pindamum" as "God resides within you in your heart. This is both the starting and ending point of the journey".
ஆண்டவன் உரைகின்ற இடம் தங்கள் உள்ளம். அதுவே பயணத்தின் தொடக்கமும் முடிவும்.
When I complained that I could not go within as there was so much noise around in the neighborhood, Agathiyar and Ramalinga Adigal asked that I be patient and learn to live with it. I could not understand why the Almighty divine could not remove these problems and troubles. They told me that it was a part of the journey towards attaining the state of Gnanam. I was told that all experiences that we gain, and the lessons learned, and which are registered in the soul pave the way to attaining Gnanam. Today I realize that if we thank the gurus and upagurus who come by to guide us out of the miseries of life, similarly we need to thank all those who give us these miseries too for they bring on learning. As Neale Donald Walsch wrote in his children's parable titled "The Little Soul and the Sun", we had asked for it so that we could experience them.
Devaki Ma in sharing stories about the Yogi mentions that the Yogi told her that he was beaten up badly after he arrived in the town of Tiruvannamalai coming from Kasi in the north. He received a beating. Later he told one Perumal who came to his aid and wanted to retaliate, that the foursome had come to do their work. "Now let us do God's work." I have come to understand God's play too and shall try to take everything in my stride and as Lao Tzu says we shall go with the flow. For a yogi, there is no positive or negative about karma. For a yogi, karma is neither white nor black, for others it is threefold - black, white, and gray meaning there are subjective reactions to the work that must be carried out, and this, in turn, creates new karma.
Swami Vishnu-Devananda translates a sutra of Patanjali that says, "Liberation (or Mukti) takes place when the mind has the same purity as Purusha itself." There you have it. The day we are pure to the soul that day we merge in God. In progressing towards this goal, we have to purify the body and mind first. But it now seems that there was no journey in the very first place that has to be undertaken and arrived at but identifying with the soul that is ever pure in nature. This can happen in a matter of seconds compared to taking on a physical journey and an internal one. But to arrive at this understanding one cannot avoid traveling the aforementioned journey. When Tavayogi took me on a pilgrimage to Holy spots, just as we started on the journey, he uttered to me "Only now the true journey begins." Patanjali says that the journey inward is true renunciation. I guess I have arrived there as I seem to have renunciate everything a householder beholds and holds on to. Nothing interests me now. I feel contented staying home and doing the only task Agathiyar has given me - blogging. Through blogging, I get the sense of connecting with people in thought. I guess it is true vice versa seeing the drastic rise in readership over the past week.
