We are told that the Gods and Goddesses too married and had spouses and these marriage ceremonies are reenacted in the temples annually as Tirukalyanam. We are told that the Siddhas too lived with their spouses. Today we stood witness to the Tirukalyanam of Agathiyar to Lobama. It was yet another day of excitement, filled with an element of surprise and the parting of more knowledge. As the "Magnificent Five" including the host and invitees gathered at Pothihai Tharma Chakram (PTC) this morning, we were surprised to have Bhogar introduce himself and inform us that he shall conduct the homam. In today's puja, Bhogar declared to us that Konganar and Theraiyar were present physically while Lord Siva and Agathiyar were in the subtle form. His recital was a brief praise of the qualities of the Siddhas and Erai in Tamil that were never heard before or found in texts. He then asked that we begin the marriage ceremony for Agathiyar and Lobama. The bathing ceremony or libation was followed by the Nalanggu ceremony and eventually the tying of the sacred thread that symbolizes the finale in a marriage ceremony.
When Agathiyar came he told us that though he had done tapas and pujas he only attained the state of Puranam or completeness once Lobama came along. This brings us to the tale of Lord Siva who said the same to Agathiyar and had him betrothed to Lobama. When AVM posed a question asking as to the origin of Agathiyar, in a Nadi reading, he reminded us that it was not their nature to reveal their origin or parentage. But the most compassionate father went on to explain very very briefly his past. Agathiyar in his very first mortal birth, had the vision of Kailash at a very young age of 10. After the vision, he took up extreme tapas (tavam) including breath control. With the holy feet of the Sadguru forever in his thought, he reached a state of Nirmala at Kailash. Upon receiving theecha from Lord Kailai Shiva, he was blessed to be born a Siddha. It was a mystical birth. Agathiyar adds that it was not necessary to dwell on the source and the details (Rishimulam Nadhimulam). Born as a Siddha now and moving in the jungles, sustaining only on fruits, his thoughts fixed on Erai, having no attachment to the good or bad, he soon had the vision and grace of Goddess Vana Kali. Continuing with his seeking and search for realization, and upon accomplishment through further severe tavam, Lord Kailai Shiva shows him his vision in Pothigai. Merging with God, Agathiyar stayed on at Pothigai upon Lord Kailai Shiva's directive. While here he came to know about the medicinal benefits of various herbs and plants. Agathiyar received the names of Kudamuni, Kumbamuni, and other names from Lord Kailai Shiva. Going without food and remaining in silence, staying in the state of Vasi, adhering to the eight limbs of Ashtanga Yoga and performing extreme tapas, for the rest of the Yuga, gaining the Siddhi to travel through the air, yet Lord Kailai Shiva told Agathiyar that there was something that he had failed to accomplish and do. When Agathiyar asked for further clarification, Lord Kailai Shiva laughed and looked him straight into his eyes, "Although you are an embodiment of Gnana, and those who hold on to your feet shall never face any disappointments, Gurumuni you do not have a companion as I do." Agathiyar was taken aback. He came to know that the Lord intended to get him engaged to the very representation of Mother Kaveri, and Kaberan's daughter, Lobamutrai. Hence in this Kali Yuga, his energy that was of Shiv Sakthi came to stay at Kalyana Theertam to bless all those who came seeking him and stood before him and Lobama, seeing them as a personification of Shiv Sakthi.
Agathiyar, in another Nadi reading, goes on to mention that his form in the granite statue at Agasthiyampalli was not a depiction of the state of yoga or Gnana but that of a state of joy in him (Agathiyar) on having seen and had the vision and darshan of Lord Shiv and Sakthi Ma in their marriage attire after their marriage in Kailash. Hence so are the replicas of Agasthiyampalli Agathiyar that formerly were at AVM and presently in PTC, and at Eco City Agathiyar temple.
PV Jagadisa Ayyar in his book "South Indian Customs", Asian Educational Services, New Delhi, 1985, writes,
"... that of the definite aim of performing religious rites in company with his wife or (her husband) for the spiritual evolution of both. In fact, a wife is said to be a Saha Dharma Charini which means the lady who performs the duty enjoined in company with her husband."
He says that observances of religious rites develop spirituality in the observers. Rituals are the first step to spirituality. No one can bypass this major life-transforming phase.
Jayaram V at https://www.hinduwebsite.com/hinduism/h_marriage.asp writes,
"According to Hinduism, marriage (vivaha) between two persons is a sacred relationship that is not limited to this life alone. It extends across seven or more lives, during which the couple helps each other progress spiritually."
The couple and hosts of today's puja have been together for the past 7 births as disclosed by Agathiyar. Agathiyar tells me that my wife and I were husband and wife in the last birth. Many of the couples in the AVM family were married to each other and were lovers in their past lives too. When my friend picked up a conversation with a girl waiting to have her Nadi reading, she hushed him for a while and became excited upon hearing her name mentioned to her male friend inside the room. When the boy was chatting with my friend and the girl was inside the room, he said that his name was being mentioned behind the closed door. They came as friends but left as a couple brought together in marriage by Agathiyar or rather their past.
PV Jagadisa Ayyar reiterates,
"Two souls come together and marry because their karmas are intertwined and they have to resolve many things together upon earth to ensure their mutual salvation. The relationship between a couple is essentially a relationship of the souls. Their gender roles don't need to be fixed forever. Sometimes they may switch roles and the husband may become the wife and the wife the husband. Sometimes they may also temporarily part their ways and come together again after one or two lives in a grand reunion."
When I told the priests in our neighborhood temple, that I did not match the horoscopes of my daughter and son-in-law to see if they were compatible or otherwise as they had chosen each other, the priests told me three things. If the couple liked each other there was no need to see the horoscopes. That itself was Mana Porutam or compatibility of the hearts. When two people come together in marriage it is the work of their combined karma or a karmic connection and it is fated. Finally, he told me to leave it to God to lead them on in their lives. His words brought me assurance then. Today, I have three wonderful grandchildren to run after and feed their inquisitive minds.
The Siddhas never did shun marriage. Although they were immersed in austerities and worship, research, and discovery, absorbed in meditation, and chose solitude, they took on a wife as an aid towards their combined religious and spiritual accomplishments.
In the book on Kavyakantha Vasistha Ganapati Muni entitled "Nayana, A Biography of Kavyakantha Vasistha Ganapati Muni (from the original Telugu texts by Gunturu Lakshmikantam), Dr G Krishna mentions that Ganapati Muni had described his wife as a Tapa Sakhi, meaning comrade in Tapas just as Arundhati was the Tapa Sakhi of Vasistha and so were the wives of many of the Rishis.
"They never considered their wives as hindrances to Tapas."
Ganapati Muni advised that women should not be barred from any spiritual or religious chores when it was prevalent at that time that women were not considered fit to worship Agni, study the Vedas, and recite Vedic Mantra and were denied the benefits of Upayana. Ganapati Muni himself used to initiate women into Mantra Japa. Many were the women who were initiated into Gayathri Vidhya, which was considered exclusive to men. Visalakshi, wife of Ganapati Muni took to the worship of Agni whenever Ganapati Muni was out of station.
"Visalakshi paid equal attention to housekeeping and Mantra Upasana. Ganapati did not share the belief that a woman was the source of sin and Maya. The study of scriptures had convinced him that the ancient rishis had practiced austerity and attained self-realization without giving up family life and responsibilities. Women were not treated as objects of pleasure by our ancient rishis. They were as qualified as men to discharge spiritual responsibilities. The ancient rishis by their exemplary behavior became spiritual preceptors to their wives and helped to establish a well-ordered society."
Looking towards Ramakrishna's life, we are shown that husband and wife can live together as spiritual companions.
"By his marriage, Sri Ramakrishna admitted the great value of marriage in man's spiritual evolution, and by adhering to his monastic vows he demonstrated the imperative necessity of self-control, purity, and continence, in the realization of God. By this unique spiritual relationship with his wife, he proved that husband and wife can live together as spiritual companions. Thus his life is a synthesis of the ways of life of the householder and the monk. (Source: http://www.ramakrishnavivekananda.info/gospel/introduction/relation_with_wife.htm)
"Sri Ramakrishna turned his mind to the fulfillment of imparting religious and spiritual teachings to her. About the experience of this period Sarada Devi used to say afterwards: “ I felt as if a vessel full of divine bliss was permanently installed in my heart...I can not adequately describe the heavenly joy which filled my heart...!” (Source: https://www.speakingtree.in/blog/the-story-of-a-holy-wife)
Just like Ganapathi Muni and Ramakrishna, Lahari Mahasaya too was a householder. Lahiri Mahasaya’s wife Ma Kashi Moni shares the moment when she realized her husband was a realized soul.
"It was years before I came to realize the divine stature of my husband. One night, in this very room, I had a vivid dream. Glorious angels floated in unimaginable grace above me. So realistic was the sight that I awoke at once; the room was strangely enveloped in dazzling light. My husband, in lotus posture, was levitated in the center of the room, surrounded by angels who were worshiping him with the supplicating dignity of palm-folded hands. Astonished beyond measure, I was convinced that I was still dreaming."
“Woman,” Lahiri Mahasaya said, “you are not dreaming. Forsake your sleep forever and forever.” As he slowly descended to the floor, I prostrated myself at his feet.
“Master,” I cried, “again and again I bow before you! Will you pardon me for having considered you as my husband? I die with shame to realize that I have remained asleep in ignorance by the side of one who is divinely awakened. From this night, you are no longer my husband, but my guru. Will you accept my insignificant self as your disciple?”
The master touched me gently. “Sacred soul, arise. You are accepted.”
He motioned toward the angels. “Please bow in turn to each of these holy saints.”
"When I had finished my humble genuflections, the angelic voices sounded together, like a chorus from an ancient scripture."
“Consort of the Divine One, thou art blessed. We salute thee.” They bowed at my feet and lo! their refulgent forms vanished. The room darkened."
"My guru asked me to receive initiation into Kriya Yoga."
“Of course,” I responded. “I am sorry not to have had its blessing earlier in my life.”
“The time was not ripe.” Lahiri Mahasaya smiled consolingly. “Much of your karma I have silently helped you to work out. Now you are willing and ready.”
He touched my forehead. Masses of whirling light appeared; the radiance gradually formed itself into the opal-blue spiritual eye, ringed in gold and centered with a white pentagonal star."
“Penetrate your consciousness through the star into the kingdom of the Infinite.” My guru’s voice had a new note, soft like distant music."
"Vision after vision broke as oceanic surf on the shores of my soul. The panoramic spheres finally melted in a sea of bliss. I lost myself in ever-surging blessedness. When I returned hours later to awareness of this world, the master gave me the technique of Kriya Yoga."
(Source: https://www.lahiri-mahasaya.org)
The exchange of garlands in a marriage is a ceremonious representation of bestowing a portion of their spiritual force to their life partner. PV Jagadisa Ayyar writes,
"This is the main end and aim to attain which all the subsequent rites (in a marriage and beyond) are observed to be continued thereafter day after day till perfection in evolution is attained in both taking many births even if need be as husband and wife."
"In the plan laid down by the wise men of old that two souls drawn together by love and sincerity do not part till both reach the level at the same time. This idea is conveyed in the Hindu marriage ceremonials and the Hindu marriage itself is considered a sacrament and not a contract."
When I met Tavayogi for the first time, he asked me to bring my wife along to his talk that evening. He told me it was not enough that I came to the path or Marga but I needed to bring my family too. He mentioned the same too that I needed to bring my wife and children on this journey of evolution of the soul, growing in luminosity, from a mere spark to a gigantic flame that eventually envelopes the self, merging with the source. Devotion and compassion arise that bring down within us the grace of God which then clears the path for us to venture further into transforming the self into the image of God. This is what several Nayanmars achieved bringing their wives and kin to merge in the flame or Jothi in the inner sanctum of God's abode. The young Gnanasambandhar took his wife's hand in marriage and led all those who had gathered to witness their marriage into the Jothi and merged with it at Nallur.
PV Jagadisa Ayyar concludes on the marriage, "The final function is what is known as Asirvatham or blessing of the bridal pair."
The priest invokes the Gods to come down and be present, to be a witness in this Holy matrimony between two souls, then request them to bestow their blessings on the newlyweds, himself transmitting the blessings to the couple, after which family, relatives, and friends shall bestow their blessings for a good life. Marriage is a new beginning for a couple where the bride takes the groom's hand in the presence of kin and friends. Besides the families and friends, all the divine beings of the other world or plane, gods and goddesses, the lineage of gurus, and their ancestors gather together for this momentous moment in time. Tavayogi who graced my daughter's wedding told me later that all the Siddhas had come to bless our kids too. Later Agathiyar and Lord Muruga in their Nadi reading tell the newlywed that the Siddhas were witnesses to their marriage.
When a friend from Bangalore had too many obstacles in finding the right partner, I suggested he do a homam in his home daily, asking God to give him the boon of bestowing the right wife for him. He did as told and found results. They are married today.
Once married, the newly married couple and their family circle would look towards the couple begetting a child. Prayers are channeled towards God for a child to be born to them. Above and beyond our prayers, the Siddhas too are praying for a family in which these elevated souls could take birth and carry on God's mission. Tomorrow we shall celebrate these children coming into our lives and bringing cheer and happiness. Agathiyar today explained why children are compared to Vaalai. He also pointed out how we have misunderstood the worship of Vaalai, portraying her as a 10-year-old and worshipping her externally. How misguided could we possibly be? This is only one instance. What about all the rest? We wonder if there was any truth in them too? He told us that the truth of the matter was that it is the breath that is to be worshiped. He tells us that children are ever conscious of their breath and live in it. Hence they are equated to the breath that is Vaalai.
Another drama and a divine play unfolded before us again. Agathiyar again tested the new hosts whether they were willing to end rituals, part with their statues, and move on to Gnanam. He had previously shocked them saying Agathiyar was leaving. But seeing their depth of devotion Agathiyar gave them time to come out of it. Today he asks them if they want to be with him or merge with him. He reiterated that the next phase would start once they are ready to let go of all attachments. He wanted everyone to enter the next phase that of Gnanam. He only wanted to see that at PTC too.
I was surprised that Agathiyar put forth the same question to me as to how to define and identify Gnanam that we had talked about some time back. I told him what he had taught us earlier which is that the experiences he gives take a turn and have us move on an internal journey that traverses the many chakras till it reaches the Sahasrara. This was Gnanam. He replied that I understood well but that others didn't. He asked me how was I going to teach this to others? He answered his own question telling me "In remaining quiet and observing the breath." I understood that he was asking me to bring them to the next level, from rituals and worship to an internal journey of traveling the chakras by sitting quietly and observing the breath. He gave us simple breathing techniques and the art of observing the breath to be carried out in the mornings and evenings. Then with deep concern, Agathiyar voiced his frustration in waking up these souls from their deep sleep of ignorance and indifference to the urgency of reforming immediately. Agathiyar said that when we don't give reasons to eat, sleep, or make a fortune, we sure do give reasons when asked to put in the practices. He said the effort is ours. They can only show the way and the practice. He also voiced out that if we do not take care of our health the mucus or Kapham if left unexpelled would obstruct air flow. He said that he would address these issues in tomorrow's sitting and asked us to remain calm and stay witness to what is to take place tomorrow. He told us that he shall see to it and through it. When Vaalai Ma told us yesterday that she would carry out the Vizha, I was puzzled how it was to be. But seeing Bhogar come and carry out today's homam I got an idea of how it works. Now I understand what Agathiyar meant in the Jeeva Nadi reading by Tavayogi at AVM in 2016 where he and Mataji came for my daughter's wedding, that Ganapathy Murthy conducted the day's puja.
Just as I eagerly looked forward to the day to dawn to witness the holy matrimony of Agathiyar to Lobama I look forward to tomorrow's Vizha with great anticipation.
I shall update readers on the outcome of our encounters with the Siddhas, Agathiyar, and Vaalai tomorrow.