If Lobhama threw in a surprise making known to us Agathiyar's wish for a temple on Saturday and immediately turned to Sri Krishna who is housing Agathiyar's bronze statue that was formerly at AVM, and told the same, Agathiyar came the following day and exempted me from executing the humongous task asking that I focus on my solo journey even more aggressively. I was truly relieved to get this clarification.
He pointed out what I had observed taking place within and confirmed those changes were indeed taking place. Pointing out that my hair was turning black again and changes in the cellular level were taking place, he asked me to continue on my practices, the occasional pranayama and asanas that I do to keep fit and stay healthy, and the short periods of attempting to sit still and still the mind and still the breath. He gave the commitment that he would take care of the family while I did my thing. He reminded me to withhold my anger telling me that the energies that had arisen within and now dwell at the Sahasrara should not slip down back to the lower chakras. It is truly wonderful to have him come and guide and watch over us so closely. How can we repay his kindness, compassion, and grace?
Though Acharya Gurudasan whom we address as Master Gowri Varadhan had already shared many details in one of the many visits to AVM when he was working in Malaysia, speaking to him over the phone last night was an eye opener where I understood these experiences further.
He had served in Malaysia where we got to know him and learned Yoga as taught by Babaji to Lahari Mahasaya. Currently, he is in Kerala.
Though much of what he shared in the past seemed mere theoretical knowledge to us then, after putting it into practice and gaining these experiences we have begun to understand what he was trying to tell us. Last evening he broke the bubble and understanding that had formed around us further. Acharya Gurudasan told me that the guru's (in the physical form and external) role was only to show us to the internal guru (the Atma). But the trouble is, if we tend to hold on to the physical form of the guru as God, the guru too projects himself as such and hides us from knowing our true selves. This too is a work of Maya I suppose. To come to know one's Atma is true liberation. I am glad that Tavayogi did not portray himself as God and have us worship him, but instead had us worship Agathiyar who on his part showed us our Atma and the Prapanjam.
Sharing with him what Agathiyar had defined Gnanam as, which is, the outcome and experiences in traveling within, traversing each chakra till we arrive at Sahasrara, Acharya Gurudasan brought greater understanding to this. In describing this journey as we traversed the various chakras, the experiences that I had had, were confirmed by Acharya Gurudasan. Starting at the Muladhara chakra that denotes survival, and scrambling to stay alive, we arrive at Svadishtana that of procreation as we settle in some form of comfort. Arriving at Manipura we seek pleasures and treasures and begin to crave and hoard them respectively. At the heart chakra, Anahata, love and compassion arise in going beyond the individual self and serving others. At Vishudhi, one begins besides tapping into hidden talents, as in singing and writing, he taps the knowledge that is in abundance and abounds. At Ajna one gains visions, foresights, and Siddhis. Finally, if and when we make it to Sahasrara, the "I" that experiences, the experience, and the object of experience drops or disappears. It is the state of oneness with our creator and in all of creation. Ramalinga Adigal mentioned that henceforth he would be in everything and disappeared from our sight.
Acharya Gurudasan in acknowledging that all paths lead to oneness with God, explains that in Bhakti too, the individual self is dropped or disappears eventually, leaving one to realize that the divine that he sought and saw as separate was all the while in him and as him.
Mentioning to him how Agathiyar came around asking what we wanted and heard our desires and wants, Acharya Gurudasan posed a question to me, whether he was addressing the individual Shanmugam or the Atma that resided within. This made my mind race to the moment when he had asked a sick devotee to ask her Atma what it wanted. She chose to live. It was granted but she is still suffering. On the other hand, Agathiyar asked the next of kin of a dead man what was he to do when the soul that they were trying to save gave up and wanted to leave. When my brother was undecided about whether to bring my mother back home from the hospital where the doctors, considering her age was 96, did not want to intervene and would only help her as much as prolonging her breathing with the aid of ventilators, Agathiyar made the decision telling him to let her go as she had another birth waiting.