When Agathiyar, raising his voice, went around asking each one of us why we came to the Siddha Margam or path last Thursday, he was, in fact, schooling us. My wife asked me the same question too today. I shrugged my shoulders and replied I didn't know. She too replied that she did not know. Though some might have had the curiosity to know or circumstances might have brought them before the Siddhas, she was asked to come to the worship of the Siddhas by Tavayogi in 2005 after I took up the call in the Nadi reading in 2002. I did not know what was in store for me and where I was headed for the first two years. However, I took the initiative to learn by visiting movements associated with Agathiyar and from much reading. It was after my second Nadi reading in 2005 that the Siddhas regularly updated me and kept track of me and the practices that they gave in subsequent Nadi readings. Though he had painted a wonderful picture of the future, in the numerous Aasi Nadi readings, I carried on with what was told, never a moment stopping to fantasize about the future. When Agathiyar asked that we commission his bronze statue in Swamimalai and have it brought over to the Sri Raghavendra Mritiga Brindavanam under construction then, we followed as told. But he later changed his mind and stayed put at my home. He then sent Bala Chandran over to witness and participate in our Pornami Puja after his Nadi reading in 2013. Bala in turn brought his schoolmates and colleagues from his group Thondu Seivom. Hence Agathiyar Vanam Malaysia (AVM) was born. We all followed his directives as told. We never laid sight of what was in store for us ahead or sought to know what was to come. We were dedicated to the cause and task on hand that was given by Agathiyar and nothing more. So it surprised us all when Agathiyar asked the whole lot why we came to his path?
I realized that he intended to know how much we had learned in coming to the path, as there was not much learning per se since it was becoming rather a mechanical routine and a duty or task that they performed. My wife told me that we were even getting high on doing puja and charity. Considering the above reasons, and fearing it would become another center to congregate, Agathiyar made the painful move to dissolve the group hoping that they would be moved to make their home an Agathiyar Vanam too. But sadly it did not happen with some, though others carried on the tradition. They thought it was enough to pray and he would take care of them. That is purely Bakthi Marga. He wanted each of us to become a Siddha. A Siddha has to do rituals and Yoga practice.
If Tavayogi asked us to come out of Bakthi, Agathiyar too, moving us to take up the Vaasi practice seriously, said the same, to the extent of asking us to let go of the hold we have on him. One might then ask just as my wife did, why bring us from temple worship as in Sariyai to Siddha worship and rituals as in Kriyai only to ask us to leave that too. Why did not they show us Yogam in the very first place? My wife asked me why he did not bring us to Yogam in the very first place instead of having us engage in temple worship, home worship, and rituals to the Siddhas only to ask us to drop them now.
Though our perspective of the world around us is straightforward, innocent, and simple, it is rather complex on the subtle and unseen level for we each carry our baggage of Karma on this journey that has to be laid down first. So the Siddha has us go on pilgrimages and carry out remedies. As they say, no pain no gain, the effort placed relieves the burden to a certain extent. With the coming of the guru, he further unloads our baggage by having us carry out rituals personally. We take Karma into our own hands and work it out through further rituals that we conduct till it loses its potential and becomes inert. As Agathiyar told me as long as there was Karma and curses, one cannot reap the benefits of puja and Yogam, they have us go through Sariyai and Kriyai first. Only then can we take up Yogam and see its benefits. With the influences of the past Karma out of the way, he has us engage in Yogam that brings a total transformation within and without. This is their ideal in having us come this far.
So when Agathiyar had me teach Mahindren and later instructed Mahindren to teach the rest just before he broke up AVM and the pandemic set in, his intention was to have us continue puja and the practice at home. I guess although some did it, others were not moved to carry them out. They gathered and carried out puja at AVM but were not moved to bring the puja into their homes. They never made the move to turn their individual homes into Agathiyar Vanam too as I had done and opened my doors to others. This was Tavayogi and Agathiyar's wish too. But it did not materialize. Hence the outburst on the part of Agathiyar a couple of days ago. Agathiyar told them that they had wasted some 2 1/2 years. I believe he was mad that besides not practicing they never listened to his advice and never executed his directives too. To those who carried on puja though, they became very much attached to the form and name that Agathiyar wished we would come out of and grow. They had to drop these attachments and move on to Yogam too. So Agathiyar had to come personally and school us into becoming obedient students and disciples, a criterion that is much needed on the Siddha path.