I had always asked myself the following. Sadhus and holy men who knew the truth and the means to attain it as in deathlessness, who kept to themselves and kept these secrets close to their hearts, brought them to their graves too. Renowned speakers, authors, and heads of mission who took the stage and limelight and spoke about life and how to live it, eventually became a handful of dust too. Those who spoke about extending one's lifespan, and who experimented with life-saving and life-extending means and methods such as consuming Kaya Kalpam passed away too. It just does not make any sense. Seeing all these, there seems to be no way to avoid or cheat death, try as much as we can. Why are we then kidding ourselves that it is possible to cheat death? But Ramalinga Adigal was an exception, who lived some two centuries ago. All the rest eventually came to rest in the lap of Mother Earth. This question troubled me.
Then Nithilan Dhandapani in his extensive readings of the Siddha texts, reveals and brings us again and again to the fact mentioned by the Siddhas that no one is spared death, not even the Siddhas. He tells us that the Siddhas consider death as true and life as false. Agathiyar told me that we should not fear death but usher and rejoice in death. Tavayogi told me that I was living in Maya. Besides jolting us off our seats, this brings down the foundation on which Siddha philosophy is built and thrives on and around. Though it surprised us, it cleared my doubts and answered my questions.
We understand that the Buddhist monks are trained to face death. Some great masters too know their time of death. My first guru Supramania Swami was one of them. He wrote the exact date of his departure in his diary which was discovered by his family after he passed away. It tallied with the day of his Samadhi. Yes, Agathiyar coming in the Nadi days after his passing told me that it was true that he had gone into Samadhi, freeing his soul willingly rather than waiting for Lord Yama to snatch it.
Samadhi which was actually going into a state of unison with the source while still living hale and healthy has been misconstrued as burying oneself in the ground. Samadhi is a state of inaction where both body and mind are still. So it seems that after a period of genuinely going into Samadhi, these sages submitted willingly to death and opted to free their souls from their bodies, unlike us who are caught by surprise.
My mother-in-law, now 79, has been ill for some time now. My wife is with her parents caring for her. When many approached us to pray and light lamps for their loved ones so that they were saved in the past, Agathiyar told us not to interfere when her time was up. Agathiyar explained that he cannot give life nor take it away. It was the prerogative of Lord Siva. But the Siddhas can care for us. Agathiyar told us that she was still holding on to life. What was she holding on to? Was it the wealth and property? An uncle of a friend was telling his family who had gathered at his deathbed bed that someone was picking his pocket and money. That is how much he was still attached to his wealth and money. He suffered before eventually parting with his wealth. Was my mother-in-law holding to it too? Or was it that she could not bring herself to pardon herself and others? Agathiyar in telling me about my past Karma in the Nadi, gave me remedies to carry out. I did as told. Later he reveals that not all was my fault and that he was an accomplice to it too. He told me that he wanted me to have those experiences too. Hence he intentionally created the scenario and pushed me into doing things. That helped lighten my guilt to a certain extent. He asked that I forgive myself and others and only then can he forgive me too. Recently he tells us that no amount of remedies will clear our past Karma unless we atone for our mistakes. Or was she waiting to see someone before her soul departed? Had she desires that she wanted to see accomplished?
My brother-in-law who passed away recently seemed to suffer long too. I thought his attachment to the Brindavanam he built for his guru Sri Raghavendra was holding him back. But even after he had passed on the day-to-day running of the mission to others, he still suffered. Finally, we came to know that my sister was holding on to him asking to follow him. The day she gave consent for him to leave his soul separated from his earthly body.
Then there was a bedridden man who could not see his wife and children suffer too for some two years. While his relatives did all they could to consult Agathiyar in the Nadi and carry out the remedies he gave, he had asked that the Good Lord take him away. God had to give in.
As all these thoughts ran through us, Agathiyar came again a couple of days back in the meditation of a devotee and asked to inform us that she had this fear of who was going to look after her husband who was 87. They had always opted to stay together on their own. Now the fear has set in about her husband's state after she leaves. This according to Agathiyar was holding her soul back. He asked for the family members to speak to her and console her that all shall be well with him after her departure. Meanwhile, Agathiyar has asked us to carry out a Homam in their house and recite the Arutperunjothi mantra to expedite the process of the soul leaving with minimum suffering. It shall be done tomorrow.
It seems to us now that lighting the sacrificial fire be it on the larger scale that is the Yagam or its smaller version the Homam was a versatile tool that served multiple purposes. It can be taken up as and when required to bring out prayers to the higher beings and higher planes. In the wake of the pandemic, Lord Siva coming in the meditation of this same devotee instructed us to start doing a Homam to keep the deadly virus away. When Tavayogi was admitted to a Medical Centre and undergoing treatment, Agathiyar told me that the Siddhas did the Yagam so that his life was extended to see him tie up the knots as regards the operation of his ashram. I did it each time a member of my family was admitted to the hospital. They saw a quick and miraculous recovery. So thinking why should I put off lighting the Homam for my mother-in-law until tomorrow when we gather, I carried out a preliminary round at my home last evening.
My parents both passed away peacefully. My father who was 76 then in 1991, somehow knew his end. He sat in Padmasana pose in a corner of the house and breathed his last. I wonder where he learned it since he never exhibited it. All I knew was that he had served a master at an ashram in India in the past. I was too young then to enquire the details which I see as a loss now. When my mother came back with the coffee that surprisingly he had asked for, for he always made his own coffee, seeing him in that unusual state, placed her hand on his shoulders. He toppled over onto her lap.
My mother who was 96 in 2022, went in complaining of a stomach ache and breath her last at the Medical Centre she was admitted to. As we arrived one at a time she told each of us that she was "Going to Sleep". I knew then that she was prepared to sleep forever. If left to the family they would have waited for a miracle. But Agathiyar came and told us that she had to move on. She passed away shortly.
Recently I did ask about my parents' souls to Agathiyar. He surprised me by saying that they were yet to be born. He told me that their next birth shall be a good one and they shall come to him again. Tavayogi shared with me that he was an old soul who had waited long to take this birth. I guess he waited for us to take numerous births and come around to him eventually.
My wife had asked Agathiyar if one needs to carry out all the stipulated rituals that come with the death of a close one. He replied that it was not necessary for us but for those who had unfulfilled desires, the family has to see through these rituals.
How and when would our death be? I wonder. We must prepare ourselves to leave empty just as we came empty or did we? Though we were born naked, we carried past Karma which was a determining factor for the soul to form and shape our physical body. While the Lord breathed in the air, the Butha Ganangal, or elementals brought together all the Tattvas and determined the race, caste, nation, sex, etc. in which we are born.
Stephen and Ondrea, authors of "Who Dies", Anchor Books, 1989, writing of a dying friend,
"But instead of wishing this moment was anything other than it was, we joined together in a prayerful meditation to tell her to go on, that her work here was done, that her only work now was to merge with her pure being, to trust the light, to move toward the light. Instead of holding, pulling back, clinging, there was an acknowledgment of the moment's perfection, painful though it might be to those left behind. It was a ritual of the heart that seemed to heal all those present."
Indeed it is an experience for both the dying and the living. Both parties need to learn to let go.
I have the 5 volumes of "Agathiyar 12000", that Nithilan Dhandapani refers to besides "Bhogar 7000" and many other Siddha texts, gifted by Surendran after returning from his visit to India some years ago. But I have not read it seeing the volume and size of the songs. Then when I came across Nithilan Dhandapani's YouTube channel where he has taken it as his daily task to read this and numerous other books and songs of the Siddhas and bring it to us viewers, I had to take my hats off to him. He is truthful and sincere in bringing the many mysteries of life and those associated with the Siddhas to our knowledge. I can imagine the time he takes to read and understand to present to us these texts. For those who want to quickly know a thing or two about the Siddhas his channel is akin to "a quick fix". Even after watching several videos of his I still can't bring myself to pick up these books in my hand and read and know further seeing its sheer size. Its massive volume puts me off. I guess I shall stick to writing what I am told for now.