The very first thing Tavayogi did the moment he landed on our soil in 2005, seeing throngs of devotees visiting temples, he told us to come out of Bhakti into Gnanam. Just before leaving, he had me drop my hold on him even before it could develop fully. Tavayogi had me drop my hold on amulets and rings that I wore on me saying, "We do not need these, my son" when I went over to his ashram a month after his departure. Returning home he initiated me to conduct the ritual of lighting the fire or Homam in 2005, a smaller scale of the Yagam that he did on his temple grounds. I was reluctant initially, but yet I did it. Agathiyar came later in the Nadi to reinforce the need saying that I was not doing it for myself but for the continued sustenance of the Prapanjam. In later years, Agathiyar tells us to come out of it too, unless it calls for us to take it up again. The call came when the pandemic started. Lord Siva told us to do it. Prapanjam herself asked us to do it when she foresaw the deadly virus re-emerging later. We did as told.
Tavayogi taught me and several others Yoga Asanas and Pranayama on his subsequent visit in 2007. Agathiyar had me stop doing them in 2012 when the Muldhara Chakra that was activated without my knowledge in 2010 resulted in excruciating pain in my lower back.
Agathiyar on his part had me commission his bronze statue in Swamimalai and bring it over on 2 January 2010. That was the day the seed was planted for Agathiyar Vanam Malaysia (AVM) that germinated with the coming of several youths in 2013, whom he sent over after their respective Nadi readings. He was to go over to the Raghavendra Brindavanam but Agathiyar stayed put eventually.
Tavayogi who asked me to see my Gnana Kaandam on our first meeting in 2005, and read the Jeeva Nadi in his possession on his last visit to Malaysia in 2016, told us to come out of our dependence on the Nadi too. All these are initial tools while traveling the path. Do not carry it with you. It is all about letting go.
Agathiyar then closed the doors to Puja and its associated rituals and with it further gatherings at AVM in the wake of the pandemic in 2019. He wanted me and others to let go of whatever attachment that I might have towards this group and its activities. Subsequently, he had me connect with my body and breath asking me to start back the Asanas and Pranayama practices I learned from Tavayogi in 2007 which he had me halt in 2012. I did as told. Recently he wanted to revive AVM and agreed to the appointment of Mahindren to lead the group. Citing my age, he told me he was not going to give me any further tasks.
In 2023 he had me part with his statue too by having me hand it over to another devotee. I did as told. Agathiyar eventually told me to let go of him too. He wanted to bring me from Dvaita to Advaita. A year later he comes back bringing a company with him, a statue of Lobama too.
These days he asked that I do nothing. So what do you do after letting go? Nothing. That was what Agathiyar and Lord Murugan tell me these days. After having me quieten my mind and still the thoughts by being alone and in solitude in the years following the emergence of the pandemic, this helped the dormant energies in the seat of the Muladhara Chakra, which unknowingly became activated with the Yogic practice given by Tavayogi in 2007, to pool in Manipuraka. Agathiyar then breaks its bunds and has it travel up through the remaining Chakras in 2022 and to the Sahasrara Chakra within days. He asked that I do nothing further and let these energies do their work. I am told to stay quiet, "Summa Iru".
Carrying out our 60th wedding, he wants me and my wife to enter the next phase, that of knowing our souls.
In QUIET MIND, FEARLESS HEART - THE TAOIST PATH THROUGH STRESS & SPIRITUALITY, published by John Wiley & Sons, Inc., Hoboken, New Jersey, 2005, Brian Luke Seaward quotes Teilhard De Chardin (Seaward B. L., 2005),
“We are not humans having a spiritual experience. Instead, we are spirits having a human experience. …..earthly existence is enshrouded in many veils of illusion. It is a brave soul on a noble adventure who attempts to lift these veils. .... If you recognize that you are indeed a spirit on a human path, then every situation that you encounter will be a learning experience. This is how consciousness evolves. The drive that inspires the human journey is a desire to have this view of life - a clearer understanding of life’s mystery and role or purpose in it.”
Shantideva says he who longs for him knows him.
“The self is not known through the study of the scriptures, or through the subtlest intellect, or through much learning; but he who longs for him knows him. He makes us dead to our own existence and alive to his own.”
He says, “God appears when the ego dies.” The death of Anavam, which after Kanmam and Maayai, is the third and final of the three Malams or Impurities, brings us to Advaita, a state of no separation but only oneness in all manner. This is the death of Maya in its totality.
In handing over the tasks of reviving AVM to Mahindren who has journeyed long on this path, and have me do nothing he wants me to move up the ladder of spirituality, gain Soul Empowerment, and evolve. The soul that is generally tied down to the three Malams or Impurities, has to shed its baggage of Karma first. It has to learn to differentiate the good, bad, and ugly from experience, and not pick up more Karma. Then it learns to see through the veil of Maya that is constantly changing and all the tricks it has up its sleeves. Once we beat Karma and Maya at their own game, we have to shed or drop Anavam which distinguishes us as separate from everything else.
Now they want my mother-in-law who is ill to let go too. Her soul has to let go of the body that has become fragile and weak with age and illness. Lord Murugan listening to her call, came on Sunday, as Agathiyar carried out a Homam in her home. It was to assist her soul to leave with him without pain, regret, or sadness. It was about letting go too. If some years back, she held back to life, asking Agathiyar to heal her, now she tells Lord Murugan to take her home. Eventually, it is all about letting go.