When I knew Tavayogi, he was already a Swamiji. I did not know much about what took place in Tavayogi's life before I came to him though Nadi reader T.Ramesh knows for Tavayogi used to get his Nadi readings read through him. Tavayogi was not one to share about his past life. Though he did preach about the Siddha Marga he hardly spoke about himself and his experiences. I knew only those years after I came to meet him in Malaysia in 2005 till his demise in 2018. Even then, as we were separated by the Indian Ocean, we could only write to each other initially, email, or talk to each other by phone to a certain extent. I got to know more about him each time he visited Malaysia and when I went over to India. So when Jnana Jothiamma came along I was pretty excited as she shared her journey with me through emails, telephone calls, and Skype. I got to know many secrets shared with her by Agathiyar and how Agathiyar began to shape his devotee from the USA. Though she was born in Kerala and schooled in Chennai, she followed her surgeon husband to the USA. We came to know each other after she read my earlier website and emailed me. A wonderful relationship between the two co-seekers took shape over the years till she pass away suddenly in 2017. Though the news of her demise caught us by surprise, I guess she knew it was coming just like my first guru Supramania Swami. While he had told me that his end will come when he was 76 his son later discovered his diary where he had written the exact date - 7.2.2007. Jnana Jothiamma wrote, "My Jenam's Journey nearing completion ... Shan... I have a lot of souls to thank... You have played a very massive role in my life.. and will continue to... till my end..."
I knew of her sufferings in later years as she was transformed slowly to attain a higher state. Indeed, Agathiyar has made it pretty easy for me in comparison to what she went through and what I assumed Tavayogi went through too from whatever he did reveal at the spur of the moment. Agathiyar yesterday told me what I am going through is nowhere close to what he went through. Jnana Jothiamma in sharing her physical agony told me that I would not be able to withstand it. She told me that at one time she had to pull her bed against the door of her bathroom since she was too weak to get up as at times she would vomit as many as 32 times. I shall recap some of these moments of transition that she shared.
After Agathiyar initiated her at Tavayogi's Kallar ashram in 2011 she briefly went back to the USA, but the pull was too strong that she returned the following year. Since then, she never returned. She undertook a pilgrimage and journey, traveling across India to spiritual destinations that were made known to her in so many mysterious ways.
Returning after a brief visit to my home Agathiyar Vanam Malaysia (AVM) in 2013 and again in 2014, Agathiyar commanded Jnana Jyothiamma to go into solitude, refrain from seeing people, and stop all forms of communication through all media. He provided for her secure accommodation through a housing developer in Chennai who was a gem of a person. She stopped coming on Skype but continued mailing me on her progress and transformation. While in isolation and with her health deteriorating further, Jnana Jyothiamma is visited by Siddhas.
On October 15, 2014, she writes to me that she read another Nadi reading and Agathiyar had told her to head to the USA, make a pit stop in Malaysia and return to Chennai once her solitary confinement was over. Her new mission and task later was to preach about the Siddhas, just as Tavayogi was doing. But somehow this did not materialize. She passed away some three years later. Agathiyar too hasn't shared this mystery with me as yet.
"Dad said I would have to leave back to my son after Thai month... he'll tell me the date and won't be back for a long time… till me 64 yrs... The only important factor is ... I need to be in isolation for some more time… both here and in the USA… then get back.... as a full-fledged Thuravi.....Sanyasin...
But for now, he had her imprisoned in the house that came by his grace only to be visited occasionally by a Siddha or their messengers bringing her good news and medicine.
"Asked me not to talk with anybody... complete Mounam... inside n outside... and not to post anything too... will elaborate on the reason at a later date. Will tell u a bit more after I recover at least a bit. I told you a couple of weeks back… that after this pusam... He has asked me to keep away totally... Therefore not to speak, post, or divulge anything to anyone... As he was speaking this I was constantly thinking about you and silently in my mind, I told him... I want to tell Shan, at least a bit... It was then, he suddenly said... "Shanmugam, who is in Malaysia…is my Mainthan. I am with him ..and in his place…and I perform all the miracles from there... He has my Blessings." I thanked Agathiyan silently in my mind and took this as an indication ...rather permission to share at least a bit with you…about me ..."
"Agathiyan went on to add, how he and his Guru Murugan, had arranged Bhogar to come over to my place and give me the medicine, Navabhashanam for consumption and told me that Bhogar will be coming again to hand over some more to me. He said that I don't have to go here and there, and what is required ... Agathiyan says...will be brought over to where I am. The pleasure of knowing that all these pains (physical) are going to cease and end one day..... and never going to come back... By pain, I meant..... the excruciating pain I experience … sometimes in my CNS… (central nervous system... hip upwards), and sometimes PNS (Peripheral Nervous System.... hip downwards). When the former activates itself, giving me torment, the latter subsides and vice versa. There is a constant burning inferno within. You won't believe it if I tell you, I feel I am running at a very high temperature. My dresses get warm. My bedsheets get warm... But actually … no fever at all... except very high temperature... like a burning brick kiln... Secondly, the bone marrow and the lubricants get evaporated, due to the excessive heat...And here I am…battling both the external cold and the internal heat... I couldn't move an inch today... I cried to dad. When the pain becomes very intense, I started to cry...
I recall that Lord Murugan too in treating me told me the same that the gel and lubricants are drying up within me due to the heat of the tapas and the subtle changes taking place. Both Agathiyar and Lord Murugan prescribed some traditional Siddha medicines.
When she recovered and felt better, she sends me the following mail,
Funny, how life had taken its course... For a very long time, I had been praying to daddy that I wanted to ascertain the following from him. I wanted to know what all I was seeing, hearing, and witnessing and the happenings are all real … and not just a figment of my imagination. Many things are happening, and I understand now fully well, that all I am doing physically also... I feel something/someone is doing …and not me...... Agathiyan told me that since Murugan's energy is inside me... "A pralayam is being created inside you and the intensity is too heavy for you to withstand, hence we have to give to you all these medicines."
Speaking on the Vedas,
"Dear Shan, I had been receiving some insights today... this is one. Right from early morning... something in me is on overdrive. I penned them down and sent them to Geetha thru Skype and you thru mail. All the teachings and the writings of all the Rishis ... are an offshoot of the Vedas... which was already existent in the Cosmic Spread/Circle... Vedas are not authored. They are intuited by the Rishis… and authored by generations later... Since the Rishis are highly Sattvic Entities, they got intuited and could tap into the Cosmos and receive them. Further, since there was only one Veda initially… and very laborious and humans could neither understand nor decipher them...Vyasa ... divided them into the existent four Vedas... Rig, Sama, Yajur and Atharvana...... Since the Rishis were spread all over the world… they all received it and wrote it down in many languages according to their locale and environment..... Since the Rishis were born at different times and different Yugas, and in different places.. their words and teachings may vary according to the times... but the knowledge of the Vedas was always there ... Ever Existent... the Rishis composed the Sutras (brief aphorisms)... to clarify the teachings."
Speaking on Karma, she wrote,
"People should understand the wrong notion they are sailing in... like thinking just with one reading and the pariharams mentioned .. that Agathiyan is completely wiping off the Karma. Karma removal is a process... Agathiyan says... Only based on one Karmic merit… "
Shan, study how karma works. "In the Nadi, where Agathiyan says that sometimes he had to plead with Brahma to give some sanction to the afflicted soul... I understand it this way... Daddy may have to deepen his tapas and intuitively get sanction.... for the afflicted soul... at least to some extent... In this, dad tells that he cannot do anything to completely help him get rid of the karma. He says it is a process and only nivarnam can be given to help one to sustain oneself, to overcome the magnitude and intensity of the problem... Agathiyan will mention the word ...Karma Pariharam...if it is for total eradication. This is a good insight for us ..Shan..."
Indeed what we are given as remedies is a temporary relief from the pain of karma.