If I had extreme hunger pangs a couple of days ago, yesterday surprisingly I did not feel hungry the whole day. Upon waking up today I had nausea, my stomach was churning, and I felt dizzy. It felt better after I had vomited. But it was blissful, too.
Last night when Mahindren came over we spoke about the past two posts I'LL BE BACK and WE ARE BUT MERE TOOLS.
As the tattvas are continuously engaged with the world around us, we miss seeing the Atma that has gone into hiding behind the veil. This reminds me of our kids who hide behind the curtains and ask us to look for them. We see their tiny legs jutting out, yet we pretend to look for them elsewhere. They then giggle to catch our attention or move the curtain. This is fun, right. As in these peekaboo and hide-and-seek games, the Atma hides behind the curtain, waiting for us to come looking for it. As for the tattvas, the guru comes along to bring us an understanding of these tattvas and bring us to an awareness of the existence of the Atma. We are told to purify the tattvas by the heat of our tapas. With the aid of the Uyir or breath through Pranayama, we equally fan the flame and increase the intensity of the jothi within. Once the tattvas are purified, they shed on their own. The breath teams up now with the Atma. The Jeevatma within us merges with the Paramatma and settles in the source or Param.
As Mahin and I discussed the part where the Lord imparts knowledge of the tattvas and the apparent discrepancies in the number of tattvas to Sage Ribhu, we figured that man as a whole is a composite of 96 as he is gross in nature, the Munis as they are subtler in nature know it to be 36 and "those that know Brahman know these to be 24", Agathiyar came and verified and endorsed our understanding.
He says that what we are in search of has no form when I tell him that though the divine is given forms and names we understood it to be one or Yegan. That is when he goes into explaining the tattvas. He says the One doesn't have tattvas too. Those who take birth as humans come with 96 tattvas. The one among man who takes birth as a Gnani (where he arises to the state of a Gnani) transforms/drops and what remains are 36. Then when one is born as a Brahman (reaches this state) the 36 transforms/drops to that of 24. When he takes the form of the Andam it is only 5 the Pancha Maha Bhutam or namely earth, water, fire/energy, air/wind, and sky/space. Eventually, he will even shed this 5. He reminded us that he had asked us earlier if we were in the Prapanjam or if the Prapanjam was in us.
நீ தேடி செல்லும் ஒன்றுக்கு வடிவம் இருப்பதில்லை, நாமம் இருப்பதில்லை, தத்துவங்கள் இருப்பதில்லை. மனிதனாகப் பிறந்தவனுக்கு தத்துவங்கள் 96. அவனே ஞானியாகப் பிறகும்பொழுது அவனுக்கு 96 36ராக மாறுது. அதிலே ப்ராஹ்மணாய் பிறகும்பொழுது 24ளாக மாற்றப்படுகிறது. அதுவே அண்டமாய் உருவெடுக்கும்பொழுது 5 மாறுகிறது, நீர், நிலம், நெருப்பு, ஆகாயம், காற்று. அதுவே பின்னர் தத்துவமே இல்லாமல் போகும். இவையே அன்று நான் அண்டத்துக்குள் நீ இருக்கிறாயா அல்லது உன்னுள் அண்டம் இருக்கிறதா என்று வினாவை வைத்தேன்.
Agathiyar expresses his wish that each of us should see what he sees. He says the tattvas move us. Call it as atoms if you want. That too is based on tattvas. நான் கண்டா திருக்கோலம் யாவரும் காண வேண்டும். மனிதனின் ஒவ்வொரு செயளிலும் தத்துவம் தான் அவனை நகர்த்துகிறது. அதை நீங்கள் அணுவென்று அழைக்கலாம். அந்த அணுவும் தத்துவதே ஒட்டியுள்ளது.
Moving on I asked him since the chakras are activated if I should engage in any further practice. He says there is nothing I need to do. The chakras shall do what needs to be done. Just watch and experience it. ஒன்றுமில்லை. எழும்பிய சக்கரங்கள் தான் இருந்து தன் காரியங்களைச் செய்யும். அவையை அனுபவித்து வா. This I saw happen again this morning, as I had mentioned above.
I am glad my wife and children are beside me in these moments to assist, though Agathiyar has told them only to watch and come to my aid if I call out. I understand now what he means when he tells me that in comparison to what he went through, mine is pretty easy. நான் கண்டதை விட நீங்கள் கண்டு வருவது மிகவும் சுலபமானது. Tavayogi too had asked me how was it that I had come to the path so easily when he had to rough it out.
Agathiyar pointed out that joy is impermanent, for we shall reach another moment of joy and another and another as we journey. எது மகிழ்ச்சி என்று நீ கூறுகிறாய்? நிலையற்றதே மகிழ்ச்சி.
Again he asked that we go within. மௌனத்தில் ஆழ்ந்து போ. When I tell him it is so difficult to go within, he replies that that shall be my practice. அதுவே உமக்கு பயற்சி. He says further that by going within we shall merge in the Prapanjam. ஆழ்ந்து போவது நீங்கள் ப்ரபஞ்சத்தோடும் இணைவதற்கு.
Telling him my wish that I should understand all things read, seen, heard, listened to, etc. he tells me that my experience shall be my teacher and become a bank of knowledge. அனுபவமே உனக்கு அறிவு.