I can hardly think, speak or write in those moments of bliss. But I push myself to document my experiences lest I forget them as memory fails me these days. Eating has become religious too. I can hardly open my eyes while eating. The whole body is savoring the food instead of only the tongue as previously. I understand why our elders and ancestors were so steep in tradition back then for they saw through the physical self and addressed the soul as the Siddhas did. In inviting a visitor at the door, we welcome the deity too who follows them. A verse from Agathiyar's song "Shanmuga Nayagan Thondriduvan" that mentions the many ways Lord Murugan appears and comes, says that he follows into the homes where his devotees step into, அவன் பக்தர் நுழைந்திடும் வீட்டினிலே. Indeed Agathiyar has identified to us deities who follow devotees to our home AVM. In serving food to these visitors we serve the deities that live and move with them too. Agathiyar has said that in cooking and serving food he feeds the "elementals" residing in the body of his devotees.
I now understand what went on in the days when I began puja solo in my home. I would come out in a state of bliss and tell my wife if only I could pass it on to her. I would cry and laugh spontaneously. These continue during group puja and also at temples. I know now that the soul has connected with the divine who is present both in our homes and the temples and connects with the souls of the devotees who gather around after watching Ramalinga Adigal coming through a devotee burst into spontaneous laughter and cry, hugging the devotees gathered to celebrate the 7th-day puja for Goddess Ma at the home of a senior couple.