Most of the time we do not know our true value or potential until we are either told or tested. The guru lays some tests to see and ascertain our self-worthiness. That is what Agathiyar had been doing I guess all these years and coming a day before when I asked that we should attain his Neri or path, he said some promising things to my wife and me. It lifted our spirits though it was unbelievable. Immediately our thoughts went to self-access and asking if we deserve the recognition. If in calling me to his worship in my Nadi reading, and Tavayogi in asking my wife and children to join me, and as we invited Agathiyar and the Siddhas in into our homes and our hearts, and in accepting and coming to our home he named it as his Vanam or garden, later taking up the rituals and Yoga Lord Murugan renamed the home as Agathiyar Tapovanam. Appropriate to the Gnana or divine wisdom he was to dispense and deliver later Agathiyar rebranded the home as Gnanakottam much earlier. This is how intimate they come within our reach when we take a few steps in their direction. Even the day before when a devotee saw him seated in our prayer room called my wife and me in, and as I asked that he stays put though it was selfish of me to ask that, he as usual like Tavayogi questioned me back whether I wanted him in my home or my heart. He made us extremely happy by saying that my home was his home too. I guess that is the reason Lord Murugan wanted me to turn each devotee's home into an Agathiyar Vanam.
A guru, like a beacon, keeps tabs on us and keeps us away from dangers way. What is needed is trust in him. If we doubt him we will tend to revise his plans for us. We then have to answer for our own doing. If we surrender to him he is answerable for our lives. He shall come to save us. I had completely surrendered to my gurus though I do question them when in need of clarification or to clear a doubt at times. I have turned down several offers and gifts of theirs too. I had refused to go places and meet other gurus that he suggested for the sole reason that I had reached his worship and feet. As he was my entire world just as we are the world to our young children I told him in the event he wanted to reward me let that happen in my home within the four walls. Today to our amazement it is all taking place in that small tiny room or Sittivalagam in AVM. They come to carry out their lilas, create chaos and lift us off our feet, heal us, dance with us, sing with us. In short, we are having a gala of a time. But there were times that they came down on us hard when we tended to gaze elsewhere and do not follow their asking. Asking him the day before if we had erred in traveling the path, and he replied it is all a lesson and an experience. He asked that we just follow all his directives.
Surrendering is a vital component or element in a guru-disciple relationship. It can make or break the relationship. Most people want the Siddhas' help but are only partially open to them. The Siddhas too go along with our game and eventually have us bring it out into the open. Nevertheless, they fail to realize that they are an open book. The Siddhas know us inside out.
As we neither know the Self nor our purpose here, the guru comes to help us find these answers. Sadly many pass away without even once inquiring about these matters. These are people who come to solely fulfill their cravings, desires, and wants says Tavayogi. Let them be he says. As their day begins with chores and errands to run and making a living to bring food to the table, these questions hardly come to their mind. But when it does arise, the search begins and the wanderings start. He begins to knock on doors and when he is told to look elsewhere, many give up in disappointment. If only we continue, someone someday might let us in into their home, where it shall all be known. Ramalinga Adigal knocked on Lord Siva's door continuously till it opened. Then he saw the wonder of wonders that he says only the Lord knows.
Once we surrender to him, he gives himself to us. He comes down from his throne that of Erai as a guru to bring us back to his palace. He becomes a friend and eventually becomes part of the family and takes up a dwelling in our homes and our hearts. We are then one with him. Our thoughts, speech, and actions are then all his. No karma gets attached further. Hence the cycle is broken.