When Agathiyar told me that henceforth I shall be a guru to a couple of seekers, it sent shivers down my spine. I had always looked up to Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal as a guru. I was impressed by his knowledge, stature, majesty, the gait of his walk, his smile and pleasantness, his humbleness, his courtesy, to name a few. Besides being well-mannered, he was well-learned, and a M.A. He had researched the scriptures and text, the olai chuvadis, and the songs of the Siddhas, and could mention them off the cuff and explain and elaborate on them. He had spent his years wandering the length and breadth of India. He had lived it out in the jungles and caves. He was a mendicant, turavi, and a yogi in all manner. Never in the years I knew him did he ask for anything from me or the others. He was always the one to give. He had no aspirations or wants. I loved him. That was the guru I knew. At times I asked myself if he was Agathiyar himself.
I would look pale in comparison. Where was I in comparison, I asked myself. I am a householder who indulges in the pleasures of life. I lead a comfortable life. I blog in the comfort of my home. I have no great experiences to shout about. All I do is share the many wonderful moments with my gurus and whatever little I learned sitting under their shadows. But yet Agathiyar was so gracious to promote me to a guru. It is all due to the love, kindness, and compassion shown by my gurus. If Supramania Swami passed on the merits gained from his forty-year tavam, Tavayogi raised me to the state of a guru. He has me carry on the tradition and Agathiyar endorsed it. How can I repay his kindness? But am I worthy of their trust?
Sharing my fear with Mahindren, he comforted me. I understood that he wanted me not to compare myself with the mammoth but see myself as a bee contributing to the cycle of life. Yes, though I am not as qualified as Tavayogi, I could always contribute and share the many tiny weeny experiences I had along the journey and the internal experiences, transformation, and changes as Agathiyar wanted me with them he added. He reminded me of how he and many others came and saw and learned the method and means to conduct the worship of the Siddhas and its related rituals at AVM and had benefitted. They sat and listened to the many stories I had related about my journey with Tavayogi. Though they never knew either Supramania Swami or Tavayogi they traveled to India and visited the latter at his ashram based on my coverage of him and invited him to their homes too when Tavayogi came to Malaysia. Agathiyar had instructed me to teach the techniques of Nadi Sutti too, to Mahindren which he was asked to share with the rest. Agathiyar asked that I teach several others too. Besides that Agathiyar had asked that I share my experiences on this blog. All these account for a big contribution in leading seekers new to the path. These words of Mahindren comforted me.
Knowing pretty well that I cannot possibly fit into Tavayogi's shoes, and gain the experiences that he has had, Agathiyar had simplified my role for current times and my present state. I await further instructions from Agathiyar as I am told that I have news from him in the Nadi. The last time Agathiyar spoke to me in the Nadi was in September of 2019. It has been a long wait. I look forward to some clues as to the direction I am to take.