If Tavayogi was a man of few words only passing an occasional remark or a statement as he passed by, Agathiyar never told us the full story. They want us to experience it first and learn from it. Only later shall they come by to confirm either the sighting or our understanding. So has it gone on for all these years. We too have come to accept their ways.
Experience is a good teacher. One might forget the guru's teachings, but we never forget what life teaches us. Each scar on us shall remind us of a past happening. Each place brings back memories. When these experiences and memories are itched deep in us, we carry them with us for years till our memories fail us and we cannot recollect or connect the scar with a memory.
A friend asked me "Can you tell me the meaning of OM Shivaya saba nasi nasi." It is a mantra to relief or lift curses. Curses are scars and wounds that are somehow knowingly or unknowingly inflicted on others through words or actions. When Mataji told me to say the phrase "Siddhar Saabam Nasi Nasi" whenever we pluck a flower or a leaf or a tuber, I wondered if plants were cursed like man. There are many unbelievable stories surrounding curses that many have spoken about and chose to believe. Even in the movie "News of the World" there were instances when happenings or people were said to be curses. Dr.Krishnan a Siddha physician and Medical astrologer had mentioned it to me before even Agathiyar spoke about it in my Nadi. Should we even be talking about curses and superstitions in this age of science and technology? I believe that one resorts to religion only when science fails him. When logic and maths fail him he turns to religion for answers. What science cannot explain religion does and vice-versa.
Curses aside, Ramalinga Adigal listed a list of possible sins that we might have committed that brings us to take another birth in the following song. It runs shivers down our spine to even think if we had done all these deeds in the past and had come to redeem and reap its effects.
In the following song, a devotee screams his heart out asking what sins did he do to deserve this birth? In this song, he refutes having done all the sins that Ramalinga Adigal listed above. As such he asked if it was fair of the Goddess to treat him the way she did?
If in the above song the devotee screams his heart out to the divine for answers, in the following song another devotee pleads with the Lord asking why he was silent and turning a deaf ear.
Sins are also only applicable if we choose to believe in rebirth. Although the sins of the past come to haunt us while living what if the time remaining isn't sufficient for payback. The Karma extends to the next life.
In the following song, we are shamefully reminded of how we cheat ourselves into believing that we are religious and spiritual and how we deceive and treat God. It is as if the song was written for me to expose all my faults. Just as Tavayogi and Agathiyar break us each time the ego rises in us, this song surely broke me.
I felt very guilty listening to these songs. We are not angels. We have done our share of harm to others. Thus we are here, given another opportunity to correct the harm done either directly or through other means by pleasing the one harmed or others and gaining their blessings.
Now I understand why Tavayogi shows us all to the Siddhas when we stand before him for want of answers to our life's troubles. He would explain that it was Vinai or Karma that was the reason for our suffering. If we are interested to know more he will give us a solution. The solution would be by way of coming to worship the Siddhas. He would not mess with others' karma nor give suggestions to overcome our problems. The solution comes by way of the Siddhas once we start worshipping them. The Siddhas shall lead us away from harm's way and show us the light that lights up our lives. The Siddhas being the Prapanjam themselves could easily manipulate time and space that takes control of mankind. They are the saviors, the beacons, and the lighthouse beaming the light to us provided we take notice and take heed of the signs and signals. Bringing us to understand life from a different perspective, one that is different in the eyes of science, eventually they have us understand the subtle meanings of life. Now I understand why Agathiyar after calling me to the worship of the Siddhas in 2002 and calling others to join me in Puja and doing charity beginning in 2013, had us wind up and close shop and go solo in 2019, telling us that henceforth the journey has to be taken alone. Religion and spiritualism are for the individual soul to explore and experience and find its way home. We never see saints bringing with them the crowd, the followers, their disciples, or even their families when they step into the sacred space, do we?