In the days when I started worship to the Siddhas in my home alone after reading the Nadi and taking up Agathiyar's call, I used to experience such peace, calm, and bliss that I would come out of the prayer room and tell my wife if only I could pass it on to her with a touch. Later as the puja intensified with many coming over after having their call to come to the path and came to my home to join in our family puja, I went into a similar state when these youngsters began singing songs and bhajan. Songs triggered this bliss. It brought spontaneous loud laughter in me. My wish was granted when Agathiyar and Ramalinga Adigal came within devotees and took our hands having us stand in a circle. They passed on the bliss to those gathered. Touch triggered the bliss within us. When the Siddhas and deities spoke yet again bliss enveloped us. They had us at times sing a particular song that they would request or have us chant Agathiyar's name or the Arutperunjothi mantra. At times we were not able to carry on singing as tears of joy and bliss choked us. The bliss eventually silenced us. We sat in silence.
The bliss we experienced was a mere fraction of that state of constant bliss that the Siddhas were in for we have seen on several occasions how elated Ramalinga Adigal was getting us to join hands and chanting his favorite mantra. This bliss that came on during these moments of ecstasy has come to stay for good and is constantly surfacing. Just the mention of the divines' names, be it Shiva, Narayana, Krishna, Dewi, Muruga, or Siddha's names too triggers bliss. A sweetness is tasted as we say their very names that reach the very core of our soul. The soul immerses in bliss causing a ripple of vibration that shakes the whole body expanding out and beyond the Self and body. Speaking about the guru brings down and from within immense bliss. The crown of the head vibrates intensely as we become connected with the Prapanjam that houses all.
The famed writer Balakumaran tells us how to identify the true guru. When one enters his presence and all his doubts, queries, and questions that he had subsides on their own, know that you have come to your guru.
I too believe if we still need explanations and answers, we have not matured enough to receive their silent teachings. I remember the days when I too would sit with others as Tavayogi heard their problems and clarified their doubts and questions. As I had nothing to ask of him I would watch in silence. We never had any conversation in that sense. He was a man of few words unless he took to the stage to preach the path. Now I understand why Agathiyar told me that he was the true guru for me. As Balakumaran says I was silent in his presence.
This very important component was depicted in the movie "Saguni" in an amusing manner where when the guru spoke, all those present carried on speaking too. No one was listening to what he had to say. Along come a couple of youngsters who sell their marketing plan and repackage his approach. They advised him to zip up. It worked like magic as now the crowd is waiting in eagerness for the guru to open his mouth and speak to them or open his eyes to look at them or call them to his side. It was indeed a sound piece of advice. Food for thought.
Tavayogi too told me to give where it shall be received well. I understood not to shed this precious treasure on the road only to be trampled by the blind (the unawakened). His words, "Give to only those who deserve to hear" still ring a bell. Like Balakumaran I too share his sadness that there are not many takers. I guess that is the reason Agathiyar had me write so that it would have a farther reach. Please do not mistake me. I am writing not to blow my horn. I would love readers to take up the path, experiment, experience, and partake in the ambrosia. I am not starting a following here. Neither do I want to take on the role of a guru offered by Agathiyar. Though my experiences are not much to shout about, it is overwhelming by all means to this tiny person. There are many who have seen bigger things but chose not to reveal or share. They should pardon me.
As for the bitter and painful experiences I have shared of us and others, though we would love to only hold the good and happy memories, it is much needed I believe to bring faith and hope to those who are currently going through hell. As we are told in the movie "Penguin Bloom" to never give up, Agathiyar too tells us not to give up. Once we give up no one can save us not even the Gods for they respect the souls wanting to leave and release them of their sufferings.