I remember the dream I had in 1988 where Lord Shiva came and told me to hold my questions to another moment and forced me to take a break from the turmoil that was going on in me as to the authenticity of God as being the most compassionate and loving for I had only seen incidents happen to relatives and friends that were contrary to this statement.
It was after 14 years that the reason for God's apparent injustice to many came to light. I understood it was their individual karma. The subject of karma was revealed to me in my first Nadi reading. I came to terms with suffering and misery.
So when Ma Prapanjam came to hush me to settle down in peace by repeating Shanti Shanti Shanti, telling me that as the Prapanjam she shall take care of all things and all the needs of her children when I asked he to shower her grace on others too after she had me experience a sample of her majesty, I knew that I had reached the end. I came to terms with life and its blessings. If she had me understand earlier that the suffering and misery of others were due to their karma, I understood that blessings and grace of the divine were entirely her prerogatives. She knows when and how to pass it to others as she did shower me with it. As I was blessed to make contact with her, I told her that it would be pointless if only I tasted the ambrosia and others were deprived of it. She assured me that all was fine and that she would care for her other children too in good time.
I understand now why Agathiyar who enriched my life by bringing over many youngsters to watch and participate in my home puja and had us all engaged collectively in doing charity, soon brought the shutters down on all our activities and had us stay indoors forcefully, scaring us with the pandemic that reared its ugly head. He taught us to let go of our hold on all actions and thoughts. He taught us to only cherish the past moments. He told me that henceforth the journey was a solo one just as we had started solo. The path had narrowed to allow only one at a time to tread and crossover. The bridge could only accommodate one at a time which answers why no saint brought others with them as they crossed the line and entered the other world. Agathiyar asked me not to wait for others to keep up with me for then my journey would be hampered and delayed. We need to cross the bridge before we hit the age of 60. As it was I was above 60 then. I had to put in extra hours and endure the pain and misery that come with the transformation as now it was a crash course for me. He had me watch the breath and go within.
Prapanjam showed me that she was still in charge no matter what man did to bring harm to her. Man is truly ignorant of the fact that the harm shall return to him in multifold. As it is she is showing us her might and telling us to work in tandem with her. But man turns a deaf ear to her refusing to listen. Now he has to look for another habitable planet as he has damaged the one he was given.
When the pandemic set in, Lord Siva told us that it was man's doing and asked us to work closely with Prapanjam to heal here. While the scientist looked for a cure, he asked us to light the Homam and chant the Vasudeva mantra and Mrityunjaya mantra. Science and mysticism worked to keep at bay the dreaded virus. As both run parallel so do these two planes, zones, or dimensions. Taking only one step brings one to step into the other and vice versa. If Palani was a twilight zone where I stepped into the other world, later the Siddhas stepped into our homes too. The ticket that brings us there is faith and belief. With this ticket all doors open. On the other hand, the magic that brings them down is in the effort and time we put in to connect with them. Once we connect the tie or bond is one that binds us over several births. The bond is only severed when we reach the end of the journey where we identify ourselves with them merging as one.