Someone new to our home puja asked me and my wife "What did you gain in praying to the Siddhas?"
Someone who frequented our home puja asked me, "Why should we praise them?"
A psychologist who read this blog, took the trouble to meet me during a puja for Agathiyar in a temple and asked me "How does Agathiyar speak to you?"
A seeker on his first visit to my place asked me "How do I identify my guru?"
To the first question, I replied "Come and see for yourself", asking her to take up the worship too.
To the question "Why should we praise them?" I replied that in praising God or others for that matter, subtle changes take place within that one has to experience himself. I asked him to praise God and others.
To the question "How does Agathiyar speak to you?" put to me by a psychologist who approached me with a hypothesis, implying that I was hallucinating the conversations that I had with Agathiyar which he had read about in this blog, I told him to take up what I did and find out for himself. I invited him to the worship.
To the question "How do I identify my guru?", I replied that the soul will identify the guru as it knows, for they are one. I invited him to the worship.
Just as Tavayogi would invite those who came before him with their troubles to come to the worship of the Siddhas, I invited them too to come and experience it.
Can merely reading books on Siddhas be equated to being on the path of the Siddhas? Because someone claimed such. Can merely attending a weekly gathering to sit in prayer to the Siddhas and sit in Satsang or discussion be considered to be on the path? This was what was happening in places I had been during my days of search. If this was it, Agathiyar would have had me go back again and again to the centers that existed under his name to gain answers from intellectual discourses and discussions that were a norm then in these places. Instead, Agathiyar changed my course of life and had me visit Tavayogi's ashram and stay there for several days to get the feel of staying in an ashram. Agathiyar, coming to him the day I arrived at his ashram, had Tavayogi bring me to the jungles and caves and have a first-hand experience and a sample of the life he lived shown to me. Agathiyar on his part came and performed miracles in the places we visited. His miracles did not stop there in the Indian subcontinent. It followed us to our shores too.
At the start of his worship in the form of the bronze statue in 2010 Agathiyar sent strangers to my home. They would eventually open up and share their grievances with me and my wife. We would listen through as we were good listeners then. But trouble surfaced when we went overboard in giving advice. Speaking about this to Tavayogi over the phone he thrashed me again for giving advice. He told me to send them to Agathiyar to weep and speak their heart out to him. Agathiyar came through me and took things into his hands. We begged Agathiyar to stop these visits both of the strangers and of his "visits" to heal and speak to them. He stopped for a while. He made me realize that he was in no way endangering me or my family. He was only using me and my home as the venue to carry out his work in healing and hearing out those whom he brought over. Lord Murugan too came and asked that we give way to them. We listened and stood back reluctantly watching the drama unfold. Then once as I stood before his statue he asked me "What would you do if I shut my ears to your pleas?" This made me realize that he wanted me to listen to others' problems. Later my daughter told me that she realized that Agathiyar was listening to others' problems through me. She had asked her collegemate to drop by for healing as Agathiyar was into it. But she never could come over. But having brought her suffering to my attention it seems paved the way for her to seek medical attention and her years of suffering in pain and discomfort ended. She strongly believes Agathiyar heard and showed her friend the path bringing relief from her misery. Similarly in wanting us to know the hunger and suffering of others, he had us carry out charity and feeding. Compassion and love bloomed from within. Just as compassion and love towards others come with interacting with the unfortunate and hearing their woes, gratitude and praise come spontaneously to one who has reaped the benefits and seen the transformation within.
Hence we see why saints have sung the praise of God. They sang praises thanking the Almighty for something that cannot be bought off the shelf nor purchased with money and riches, but that which can come only through their grace and the flowering within in the heart and in the crown and in the very cells. Now we understand why Manickavasagar sang the song of praise "Sivapuranam" to Lord Shiva. Now we understand why Ramalinga Adigal sang the song of praise the "Agaval" to Arutperunjothi. Now we can understand why all the saints finally sang these songs of praises to the Gods and Goddesses.
In initially singing these songs left behind by these saints we never realize its potential. We only see it merely as a song that is sung during puja at the temples by Othuvars and others. But when one takes the puja into his own hands eventually he comes to a state where the puja is no more an external worship of idols and images but becomes an internal worship where the oil lamp lit externally now begins to burn within. The flame behind the screen at the temple's inner sanctum that is seen once the screen is drawn aside now burns brightly within, lighting up each cell in the body and brain.
It is said that human birth is rare. Manickavasagar sings about the evolution of man from grass and bulbs, worms, trees, various animals, birds, snakes, and rock, and arriving and resting in the human kingdom, before deciding whether to pursue the path of ghosts, Ganas, powerful demonic beings or settling as Munis and Devas.
புல்லாகிப் பூடாய்ப் புழுவாய் மரமாகிப்
பல் விருகமாகிப் பறவையாய்ப் பாம்பாகிக்
கல்லாய் மனிதராய்ப் பேயாய்க் கணங்களாய்
வல் அசுரர் ஆகி முனிவராய்த் தேவராய்ச்
செல்லாஅ நின்ற இத் தாவர சங்கமத்துள்
If we have come a long way to attain the human form, he goes on to sing that it is even much rarer to gain admission to the path and attain, not Siddhi and Mukthi, that many crave without understanding what they are asking for, but to have God give himself to us. When we would cry over spilled milk and over trivial things that will one day perish why not cry for that, that is ever permanent and everlasting?
Coming to devotion and worship, people want to be told what they can achieve or gain as in monetary benefits or positions that are eyed and desired in everything else. Did the Nayanmars seek riches? Did the saints seek riches? Did the Siddhas and Rishis seek riches? All they sought was the heavenly kingdom and its treasures, the Holy Feet that showers its grace. Today I can feel and realize what these songs meant to these saints as Tavayogi made me walk the path, and take the journey rather than have me sit and go through these texts or discuss it.
When we can plead and beg others isn't it time that we plead and beg to the Almighty. What another person, master, or guru could give can easily be attained by worship and devotion. Even the greatest master and guru is on loan here for he too has to return to dust. Reach out to God and he will provide for all your needs, not what you desire but what you need just enough to survive and live a blissful and peaceful life.
Indeed it is true that you cannot gather others and bring them along. It is a sole journey as Agathiyar said. Ramalinga did not bring another with him. The Nayanmars did not bring others along. The great saints did not bring another. What they did was leave behind their teachings for others to pick up and follow. But we are so obsessed with our possessions, needs, and wants that we do not see these messages carried and portrayed in some good movies, texts, books, biographies, autobiographies, documentaries, and of course songs. I guess this is why Tavayogi told me to spill the beans to only those who would listen and not to the masses. Agathiyar asked me to share in this blog though. Maybe the words of a reader and friend would surmise the reason Agathiyar wants me to share my experiences with readers.
Shan Sir, When I go through your writings in the blog and the experiences therein, the activation of chakras, the changes in the body, and how the most Graceful, merciful Guru takes care of every minute detail of what His disciple is going through while He is literally carrying you on the path. I know that this is no ordinary blog, these are no mumbo jumbo writings (in case someone has those thoughts) This is a divine blog. I strongly feel only those with a strong karmic balance of good deeds, devotion to the Siddhas, and those looking in all earnestness to travel on the Siddha path will get access to it. This will not be meant for everyone and when I say that I include myself too....as the journey traversed in such a long time is minuscule.. the path to be traveled is long and time is short. He will give each one of us what we deserve for He only knows what is the intensity of that which we are striving for vis a vis our Karmas ...past and present.
Once I realized he was the very Prapanjam, Agathiyar moved on next door, knocking on another devotee's door to bring him to the state of a Siddha. This is the reason he moved out of AVM. Sitting and listening to devotional songs that were merely that by distinction and label, is now an entirely "fiery affair" as emotion bursts its banks and tears well in the eyes and roll down our cheeks. Gods are easily accessible through singing and hearing these songs. The presiding Goddess at Samayapuram came to his new home moments after he came to bless us all, upon hearing the cry of a devotee asking what sins did he do to deserve this birth? In this song, the lyricist refutes having done all the sins that Ramalinga Adigal listed in his "Manu Murai Kanda Vaasagam". As such he asked if it was fair of the Goddess to treat him the way she did?
This brings us to the question of whether to act or not to act, seeing the poverty, hardship, suffering, and misery of others? If yes how far do we indulge in helping and serving them? Or do we turn to look away and justify that it's an act of karma that is taking its toll on them? A reader wrote in asking the same moments ago.
Aiyya, the day before yesterday a 15-year-old boy was killed in a hit-and-run accident... Rage is dancing with all its might these days...I can see it everywhere. This news was so so upsetting that I wanted to discuss it with you. I know the grief of the parents. But I or anyone is unable to reach both of them. I want to tell the grief-stricken person that this is your best chance to escape from grief or all grievances. This is the time to start. How much time is needed to progress even after we come to this path? We know that. So if you don't start the search now, when are you going to? And how will you be able to tolerate such a big pain /loss? I want to ask them and all of the world. ... I know that I shouldn't be worried about it. But still, when I think about how many more years and births they have to suffer, it is frustrating Aiyya. I'm not confident enough to even suggest Nadi to those who share their agonies. Most of them think it's all a farce.
We have seen road bullies and road rage too here. My brother who was in Manila many years back told us that the cityfolks were well-mannered and gave way to pedestrians while driving.
I went through the same phase too, as the reader is going through, as a bachelor in my twenties. A relative was hit by a car while crossing the road after fulfilling her prayers at the temple. How do we explain this? If I was confused and angry seeing the sufferings that devotees went through and feeling helpless as it was seen as an act of God as we see in the movie "Oh My God", Lord Siva had me take a break and actually transferred me back to my HQ in the capital city removing me physically from the coastal town where I joined my service. He had me married so that I take my mind off the many questions that troubled me. After 14 years when all the turmoil in me had subsided and I was emptied of all the readings, discussion, and practice I did as a bachelor, Agathiyar roped me into his path and revealed the reason for people's sufferings. Again there was nothing much we could do. As Tavayogi told me to point to them and as he did show the way and the path, the Siddhas took it from there showing them the means and the remedies. But ironically Agathiyar who had us feed and do charity to the unfortunate had us end it too and had us move on telling us that others would continue where we left off. True enough someone else is doing it. I guess we do not have all the answers.
There are the movers who have the vision to bring change and correct the weaknesses in society as Lord Krishna tells Kanji to take the stage and point them out. Then there are those who only speak and spill philosophical thoughts but refrain from doing anything. So where do we stand? What should we adopt? If Mother Teresa had chosen to look the other way there would be no one to attend to the sick and dying on the streets. Though I have not been to Varanasi or Calcutta, I believe the work she did was taken up by others and today we see numerous lodges catering for the sick and dying to shed and leave their body peacefully and with honor in Varanasi. Similarly, Mother Teresa's movement has branched throughout the world. Though my mother too never stepped on Indian soil, when she passed away the modern-day crematoriums had been fully booked. To avoid any delay in carrying out her final rites, the undertakers proposed that we go traditional and use wood instead. It was akin to a funeral ceremony done in Varanasi. Agathiyar paved the way for it.
You have to taste the honey. No amount of detailed explanation or description will bring on the taste in you. We could possibly point out certain similarities but each experience is unique by itself and in every sense. My writings are based on my experiences at that period of time. I was never one to vomit others' experiences and be satisfied in speaking or writing about them. Today after gaining immense benefits, not material but soul empowerment or Atma Balam after coming to the guru and through the worship of the Siddhas, I still cannot describe them as it has to be experienced, felt, heard, and seen for oneself. No amount of attempt to describe the state could possibly bring these experiences to another. This is the reason that when the lead character Kanji Lalji Mehta in the movie "Oh My God" in the midst of an uprisal, asks his family to gather to show them the darshan he has had of Lord Krishna, he chooses to remain silent and replies "No One" when they ask him whom he wanted to introduce them to. "Here come here, come I will introduce you to Krishna." The next moment Krishna disappears but his voice is heard only by Kanji. The family who has gathered around him asks, "Who did you want to introduce us to?" He answers, "No One" for how can he show God to others? They need to see him within and around them as Krishna tells him, "Who are you looking for Kanji? Didn't I say I am present everywhere? I am pouring on fields as the rain and making nests along with the birds. I am also having lunch with the ants down there." My second granddaughter feeds the ants. The problem is that it starts biting her sister and brother and they start screaming. It is difficult to live by these principles, right? How can you not exterminate termites, rodents, mosquitoes, flies, and other life-endangering species? I doubt if anyone can truly follow the teachings of Lord Krishna, Jesus, and Ramalinga Adigal in this age where we are confronted by dangers in so many forms. I certainly cannot keep up with it.
When Kanji picks up an object that Lord Krishna held in his hands earlier and places it into his shirt pocket, Krishna asks, "What are you doing Kanji? Don't wear this around your neck as a talisman You finally succeeded in explaining to people that this is wrong. Throw it away." He throws it away. This reminds me of how Agathiyar and Tavayogi step by step had me drop and let go of my hold on possessions. Man has brought this immense force and energy that resides in, as, and is the very Prapanjam into his favorite objects of worship and in doing so limited his vision and experience. Agathiyar to teach us this lesson and gain the experiences came as a bronze statue to my home. In constantly carrying out worship and rituals we gave the metal life, energy, and power. Rather than have us hold on to the subject and object of adoration and worship, Agathiyar broke our hold on him and broke free, and moved out into another home, hence freeing us from yet another bondage. Telling us that he was the Prapanjam and that the Prapanjam was in him, telling us that he was in us and that we were in him, bringing the Prapanjam within us each time Ramalinga Adigal came, and finally telling us that he shall leave the moment the Prapanjam is completely brought down, he has linked us to the very source of all matter, subtle and beyond instead.
In asking me to carry out the Siddha puja in return for and as a thanksgiving ritual Nadiku Dhanam, he had me part with my money. In asking me to carry out remedies here and in India, he had me part with my money. In bringing me to my guru Supramania Swami he taught me to even let go of our merits gained from our austerities or tavam just as Swami passed it on to me before leaving his mortal frame. Tavayogi shaped and molded me further thrashing my joy in having him come over to my home. Like Agathiyar, rather than have us hold on to him as the subject and object of adoration and worship, Tavayogi broke our hold on him and broke free, instead connecting us directly to Agathiyar. He broke my hold on him which if left to grow would have seen me worship him rather than Agathiyar. He broke me further having me cast aside the gem-studded ring I wore on my fingers and the Rasamani or mercury bead I wore on me, telling me "We do not need these, my son". Agathiyar who sent many over to my home, that became AVM later, to witness the puja and help out in charity soon brought the shutters down at the peak and height of our activities. He broke up the group having us go our way bringing the tools and the method that they picked up at AVM into their own homes turning each home into an AVM. The next 2 years were spent in letting go as the pandemic surfaced. After a brief visit to the homes of devotees who invited him over after the pandemic subsided, he moved out, relieving me of my responsibilities further. Today I sit free and do nothing, spending my time watching some good movies, and documentaries and listening to songs besides writing this blog. Today's post is special as it was written in tears. As I sat and wrote it Manickavasagar's Thiruvasagam was playing in the background. I was immersed in his blissfully, shedding tears of joy, as the words were penned.