A reader following this blog for some time, later met up with me and told me that I was the only one who had written something good about her motherland after my maiden visit. Others would have loads of complaints upon returning home to Malaysia. I had gone abroad to carry out my remedies or parikaram given by Agathiyar. Everything else was secondary even the request by my wife to chart the horoscope for our second daughter while I was overseas. I chose to see the good side of things, taking in the sights and sounds of a country new to me though my father was from there. Hence I only wrote about the many magical moments I had while there.
As time went by I saw the turn of events all around the world and how man was breaking the bounds of natural law and that of man-made laws, wrecking this beautiful world that we have come to inherit, I told my family asking let the world end before man brings an end to it by his mass destruction of natures resources and all on the face of the world. My daughter suddenly quipped in, "No I haven't lived my life yet!" Indeed she was then a teen eagerly looking forward to life while we were on the fringe of closing our lives chapter.
In the Movie "Jesus Resurrection" a reporter for a magazine who usually covered wars, riots, and politics was unusually sent to cover the story of the hippies and Jesus. He tells a young man at a mass, "Our country is a dark divided place. But in that tent, there is hope and unity and miracles that I can't even explain... I don't even know if any of this is real" referring to the church that was conducted under a tent to accommodate the large and growing crowd. Indeed in God's presence, we lose ourselves and at the height of our joy and bliss we forget the world and our worries.
Agathiyar too had consoled me to hang on there when I voiced out to him how was I to carry out his asking in going within if the disturbances from the noise and din in the neighborhood pursued. He said this was the prize we paid for staying in the city amidst development and technology. Yogi Ramsuratkumar too had implied that it was indeed difficult in this age where we have a myriad of waves in the airways that interfere with the connection to God that takes place in those rare moments of silence. Agathiyar added that even if I were to head for the forest there would be disturbances in other forms. Supramnaia Swami too had to face the noise and din from a workshop that sprung overnight next door to the kudil we built for him at Tiruvannamalai. But being a Gnani he told a friend who visited him that it did not bother him. But as I was then beginning to sit and contemplate, I found it rather difficult to shut off these noises. Just when Agathiyar asked me to go within and also sleep in his room which was my prayer room, the noises started. Being a spoilt child I told him to remove the cause and I would sit in meditation and sleep there, otherwise, I was leaving and would leave. Till today I have failed to meditate except for a couple of rare moments where I slipped into a space that I wasn't sure if I had dozed off while sitting, was in dreamland, or had actually stepped into a different portal where I had a vision of watching libation to the Sivalingam. At another time I just was there in an expanse of space being a witness, just being present.
And now I have grandchildren who look forward to starting a life as a kid, teen, a young adult, and later have their own families. Shouldn't we give them a conducive environment to grow in? They have come to regard me as a playmate for they always engage me in their play. I jokingly told one of my granddaughters that she had no respect for my age, calling on a 63-year-old to play with a three-year-old. But it is fun to be with them. If I had felt young and dynamic in the company of the 30 youths whom Agathiyar sent over to my home to witness and participate and carry out the Siddha puja at home and in the temples, and to carry out charity and feeding, these days I feel even younger in the company of my grandchildren.
Above and beyond all these is to be in the company of nature. A stroll through the park, walking in the woods, watching fish and tortoises in the pond, having the wind blow across our faces, and gazing at the night sky, turn on our sensory receptors and immediate joy comes on within us.
Watching the movie "Everest" I remember Balamurugan telling me that at one juncture he began to question himself as to what was he doing walking up to Mount Kailash. It was difficult terrain and they had to encounter breathing difficulties due to the changes in altitude and the freezing cold made things worse. In the movie too the trackers begin to question the motive of their quest.
As it is, life presents challenges to us. Some chose to face new challenges taking on new ventures. At the end of the day, we can sit back and recall these experiences and gain fulfillment and satisfaction that we have lived life fully either in pursuing our dreams or in giving ourselves fully to the service of others.