I was supposed to have earned the wrath of the caretakers and elders who upkept the tradition in the temples back then in my previous birth, which was also the reason to take another birth as revealed by Agathiyar. I had apparently attempted to bring change in the ways and methods carried out by the Namboothiri priests of Kerala, throwing time held tradition to the winds, hence earning their anger. In doing so I was mean and disrespectful to people too it seems. I guess I had retained some of the past experiences or rather the fire burning in me then to bring about a change, in this birth too, for I have this overpowering urge to bring change in many matters especially those that were in my control or that I could determine its course. As Lord Murugan told us recently that the one in search of his soul shall have all the experiences embedded in it unlike the man who engages with his body which shall not retain its experiences, வாழும் மனிதன் உடலால் மட்டும் வாழ்ந்துவிட்டால் அனுபவங்கள் ஆன்மாவோடு பதியாது. ஆன்மாவைத் தேடுபவனுக்கு அவன் மேற்கொள்ளும் அனுபவங்கள் எல்லாம் ஆன்மாவோடு பதிந்து விடும், I guess I have carried those experiences from this past birth into the present and hence see myself carry the urge to bring this reformation. If those attempts were seen as wrong and going against tradition by society which held them close to the heart then in the way past, we were free to experiment and bring on these changes in this age and in this birth. For instance, I believe we had trimmed down and improvised many a method and ways of carrying out puja and rituals towards the Siddhas. When I went "door to door selling my ware", and others did not receive my ideas, I began to bring the change in my home puja that later was attended by many others sent over by Agathiyar. Hence our home puja that grew to some two hours long over time eventually was a mere 24 minutes. The Siddhas seem to condone these modifications. The Siddhas have accommodated the changes too. Nay in fact they and the divine intervened at many moments and hurried on the puja bringing us to adopt and follow suit later. They determined the time too often arriving earlier and starting us off and catching many off guard. We were open to changes and adopted them immediately without question or debate or discussions. I guess the Siddhas respect the lifestyles of people having to rush to attend to other matters that would ensure bread and butter arrives at their dinner table. Ask any one and they shall tell you that they have no time and that they cannot find time to worship, much so carry out an elaborate worship. The Siddhas were considerate of the children and elderly at the puja who are put to the test of their patience elsewhere.
If we had experienced both extremes of a lengthy puja and one that was brief, even that dwindled down to just sitting in silence and imbibing the energy in later years. Since the Siddhas and their energies had come to reside in our abode, our home, AVM and within us, as a result of some 20 years of puja, it was not necessary anymore to call upon them to come down for we had unknowingly transformed ourselves into their form or rather were a walking dynamo carrying these energies. Both Bharathi and Ramalinga Adigal were it. While Bharathi tried to bring social reforms, Ramalinga Adigal went even further trying to bring on a spiritual reformation or rather transformation. But they both did not have it going smooth. There was much opposition to change by certain quarters. I could tread on save grounds though for the youngsters sent over by Agathiyar were receptive to these changes as it was easy to mold the young. They eventually brought these changes into their home puja too. It is the old that resist and hold back to time held traditions. In speaking to two heads of missions who visited AVM some time back, I proposed that they reduce the time for rituals as we did, considering the sick, old and the restless children present, they were not ready though to break the rule of the day or rather tradition that goes way back. One patron told me that she prefers to follow what the guru did in his days. It reminded me of the story of the guru who had his disciples tie a cat before beginning the ritual. It became a tradition even after the demise of the guru. They carried on doing it without knowing why the guru did it. I told her that the Jayanthi was for Agathiyar and not the people. To my surprise the guru came and reprimanded her asking to take cue from what we did at AVM. Another patron told me that the tradition goes back some 300 years, and he did not want people to say that he had budged in and changed it.
I believe if anybody wants to bring a change it is the guru or the head of a mission or movement as he has the authority and power to do so. Similarly, it is with allowing people to fall at their feet for blessings. The guru can stop that practice. When we allow it, it becomes so part and parcel of our tradition. The Siddhas in coming before us tell us not to fall at their feet. They ask us never to allow others to touch crown of our head. They struck off the practice of standing in line to gain their blessings. They disapproved it. They tell us not to give our bodies to others as in going for body massages unless they point us to them. Off course this is for those who follow their teachings and listen and have seen some headway in their spiritual journey. Though Tavayogi was practicing the orthodox and traditional way of doing things and though Mataji Sarojini Ammaiyar choses to strictly follow him, he gave me leeway in implementing these changes. I find that we at AVM have adapted to numerous changes that are relevant to present times and considering that we were living in a distant country away from the hold of the roots of tradition in the Indian subcontinent, we find it easy to bring these changes that are accepted without much opposition. Agathiyar had always praised our puja and never for once found fault with it. Eventually, it is a matter of a personal bonding with our Ista Devata or deity of choice first and society coming later. If our bond for, be it, a guru, Siddha, deity or God is strong, the love overcomes any shortcomings.
Even as I am surprised to see the transformations Agathiyar has brought on internally in me, and in my present thinking, coming to college in 1977 I was transformed from a timid lad who pleased everyone with a smile, into someone who spoke his mind after reading a book in the college library. It was titled "Learn to Say NO." Though I quite forgot the authors name over time, this book changed me for good. I began to say NO. That has saved me from lending into trouble many a time. This principle that I held taught me to turn down the many gifts too that came by my way later while traveling the Siddha path. Most recently Agathiyar asks that I worship Vaalai just as we worshipped him. As I was reluctant to go back to rituals as he had brought a stop to it, Mataji tells me that Vaalai meant the breath. I understood that Mataji in her brief moment of meditation at AVM, Agathiyar in the Jeeva Nadi reading read by Mataji, and Ramalinga Adigal coming through a devotee have asked that I worship the breath that keeps us alive and well. It shall bring us Siddhis they say. Should I accept them when gifted or should I hold on to my stand in refusing all the gifts as I have done all these years?
Another book which I received from a parting friend and colleague who decided to take up monkhood at Paramahansa Yogananda's Ranchi Ashram in 1994, opened my eyes to the existence of gurus and brought on acceptance of men as God or rather Godmen in me. Some 8 years on, Agathiyar brings me to my first guru Supramania Swami in an unexpected way. Swami introduces me to his lineage of gurus. If I had read about gurus in Yogananda's autobiography earlier, I now listened to him Swami speak about his moments with his gurus namely his own father Jayaraman Pillai, Pundi Mahan (Atru Swami), Kolli Malai Swami, Sathanandha Swami, and Yogi Ramsuratkumar (Visiri Swami). My faith on Godmen was strengthened further when Swami brought his last guru Yogi Ramsuratkumar to sing with us at dusk the day I arrived at the former's kudil. The Yogi had already gone into Samadhi a couple of years earlier. How was this possible?
Today I understand pretty well that beyond all the gross matter and forms that we see around us, lives the subtle forms of these past souls, as in the electromagnetic waves. They can be summoned through calls made by us commoners as we do during puja and can be summoned at will by the great gurus. The gurus and Siddhas themselves can come among us if they will as did the Yogi arrive during a Shivaratri puja at AVM. He sat with us listening to Sriram Parthasarathy's rendition of Sadhu Om's song on Bhagawan Ramana. Bhagawan Ramana was one of Yogi's gurus. As the song "Yeppadiyo Arulvaai" came to an end, he introduced himself as "The Beggar" and told my wife to have it played once again.
Agathiyar coming to us told us to listen to another song of Sadhu Om "Yeppodhu Nee Arivaayo" set to music and sung by the same. I had written to Sriram telling him about this amazing moment when the Yogi sat in with us listening to his song and Agathiyar's request to us too.
Supramania Swami who went into Samadhi too followed in the footsteps of his guru the Yogi. If the Yogi after his Samadhi stood in Swami's village home at Nacha Ananthal, 8 kilometers away from Tiruvannamalai town, handed him his painting and disappeared into the darkness, Supramania Swami after his Samadhi came into our home first in the aroma of tobacco. When the thought struck me if it could be Swami, the phone rang and there was his miscall. Failing to believe until I verified the number with his son and calling up the number, I realize that it was no more in use by the family and true enough someone else answered the call. Then on another day as I mentioned the mysterious call to my nephew who knew Swami too, as I ended the call with him, there was another miscall from Swami's previous number. How do you explain this? Tavayogi who had gone into Samadhi surprised us by inviting the couple Sri Krishna and Sri Deviy as they entered the prayer room at AVM just days back. How do you explain this? My first instance of hearing about these appearances was from Dr. Nanjan, a veterinarian from Ooty who accompanied Tavayogi on his visit to Malaysia in 2008. The Dr. told me of a couple whom Agathiyar used to visit. Once as the Dr. stepped into their prayer room, Agathiyar seemed to arise from his sleeping position, tied his long tresses, turned to look at him before disappearing. Then a similar miracle happened on our home ground and shores at AVM too where Jnana Jothiamma who was visiting us in 2013, saw Agathiyar come out of the prayer room, gave her a glance and walked out in the middle of the night. Next was an Australian Chinese who was on her way to the airport to board her plane back home. She stopped by at AVM as the car-ride e-hailing driver was a friend of us. She came out of the room in tears telling us that Agathiyar stood ceiling height before her.
As he was leaving his mortal frame, Yogi Ramsuratkumar consoled his weeping devotees that he could do more in the subtle form and in the subtle plane. Even as I told Tavayogi that I would love to see him turn into Light before our eyes that we missed witnessing in the merger of Ramalinga Adigal and our Paramaguru Jeganatha Swamigal, Tavayogi told me that he had missed the boat due to his age. But Dhanvantri came after Tavayogi's Samadhi and assured us that he was in the form of Light looking over our shoulders. Days after his Samadhi a devotee in South Africa saw him in a dream, where Lord Shiva ferried him and several others clad in white across the waters to the other bank where Siddhas, Rishis and Munis were going about their chores. Supramania Swami told me the reason he closed up a window looking out to the Holy Mountain of Arunachala was that it was fiery, and he could not watch it. He saw Siddhas, Rishis and Munis too going about their work and he surprised me with another revelation that I am bound not to mention here as yet. Bhagawan Ramana is said to have seen a wonderful place inside this Holy Mountain and asked that the entrance to the cave be closed for good. Yogi Ramsuratkumar surprises us by telling us "Your satellites are interfering with this beggar’s work", as revealed to Will Zulkowsky, author of "Meetings with Yogi Ramsuratkumar". So, it seems that there is more than the eye can see; there is more to what we feel and hear. This blog is full of these and many more miracles that Agathiyar and the Siddhas have shown us.
I believe that God has been kidnaped by certain quarters and made their property. We have been deprived and denied of reaching out to him without paying ransom money to the kidnappers. It is time we released him from their clutches by calling out to him directly. It is time we summoned the Gods directly. It is time we began to speak with God directly. It is time we had a conversation with him as Neale Donald Walsch does. It is time he dined with us. It is time he stayed the night over in our homes. It is time he partied with us. It is time we sat with him in meditation. It is time we knew him. It is time we knew that he and we are one. It is time we knew that we never were really separated in the very first place. The world of Maya has come between us, breaking the bond that we once had with him. Let us draw aside the veil. Let has know the soul. Let us gain Atma Darisanam or Darshan of the Soul.
Let us take the very first baby step as Tavayogi and Thavathiru Rengaraja Desigar guide in their talks.