VAALAI - BOTH THE GODDESS & THE BREATH

If Tavayogi broke me apart many times since day one, Agathiyar broke us further at AVM. They broke and reassembled us again in a manner that would facilitate our spiritual growth towards gaining Atma Balam or Soul empowerment. All those who came to AVM have been touched in a way and to a certain extent I believe. As for my wife and me and the children it was a learning curve taking the beating and withstanding the grueling task of keeping those souls on the path. I guess I could have made some enemies along the way too, but it doesn't matter as long as the teachings remained intact and in its original form. Though some leeway was given to modify and shorten the duration of worship, to try out various approaches in carrying out charity and in the process vetting through the deserving and underserving, and to experiment with Yoga and adopt those that came with ease and without much pain, the teachings of the Siddhas remained intact. Sariyai, Kriyai, and Yogam was approached in a systematic manner though at times there was lack of discipline to exercise Yoga in many. If many participated in Sariyai and Kriyai most stayed away from Yogam. But the most compassionate Agathiyar gave everyone a long break to settle their responsibilities and build their careers as they were all in their thirties promising that he shall rope and bring them together again sometime in the future. 

As for me and my wife Agathiyar chartered a course and is hurrying us as age has caught up with us and we do not have much time on hand. After having us go through some grueling test and seeing us come through as he expected, Agathiyar now wants to give us Siddhis. If Siddhi is attaining perfection or completing a task or a transformation to perfection, it is generally assigned to gaining the ability to carry out the unimaginable. Call it magic or stunts, it is the ability of doing something that is incapable of any normal man and beyond the boundaries of logical thought. 

The Siddhas are often associated with the 8 Siddhis that they were capable of. But that is not surprising if we consider them as having attained the Godly state. Ramalinga Adigal says that God gave up his seat to him to carry out his work, that of creation, sustenance, destroying, veiling and blessing. It is akin to the awards that one receives for his hard work. Supramania Swami was said to have picked up a handful of earth that would turn into sacred ash. He could pinpoint the spot where a Vel was buried in the slopes of Arunachala. Though he engaged in Siddhis or public exhibition of these unbelievable feats in a state beyond his normal self, Tavayogi refrained and never engaged in them as far as I know. 

Who then bestows these Siddhis? It is said that Vaalai does. Who is Vaalai then? Going through the book of praise to Vaalai that I had compiled I read Agathiyar say of her as follows.

She is the medicine that keeps death away, She is the one who bestows the 8 Siddhis, She is the means and the much spoken about experiences that come to us as Gnanam, 

"We shall share the bliss in staying still in the subtlest of all spaces, Take me as your servant Manonamani", cries out Agathiyar to her in ecstasy.

Reading up further on her I come across the following. If literally Vaalai Puja would mean carrying out worship as in following certain rituals spelled out in detail by Agathiyar in his "Saumya Sagaram" a translation in English made available by Mrs. Geeta at  https://saumyasagaram.blogspot.com/, she hints that this puja is performed with the intellect or buddhi. Mataji tells me that she is the breath. If we look and chase after pleasures that come along in doing in this gross and material world, that is termed Citrinbam, there is a greater bliss that is Perinbam in sitting still and not doing but just observing the minutest movements within and around us. She brings us to this state. 

Mataji was reminded to worship her too through a dream that she shared the last time she came over to Malaysia. Subsequently she had placed her image too at Kallar ashram. To mitigate the damage caused by roaming wild elephants she had installed a granite statue of Lord Ganesa on the grounds. I know of a movement head who worships Vaalai and carries her name. 

Now I understand why Vaalai came into the picture at this juncture. If all forms of external worship had ended with the exit of Agathiyar as the bronze statue at AVM, Agathiyar has brought us to the internal worship of Vaalai, the breath.