I understand now why the Siddhas kept many secrets hidden, at least from the general public, and only revealed them to deserving students. I understand why Tavayogi told me that the guru would test his student and only after 12 years divulge these secrets to those who had the patience to wait. I understand why he said to "Give according to the plate". If I initially took the saying literally, later I understood that it meant spill the beans to only those who are willing to hear and deserve. If Agathiyar started us off doing charity to inculcate the habit of giving, asking us to give to all, later he had us streamline our activity and shortlist and give to only those truly deserving of the aid. So too it goes with Gnanam. Agathiyar in a Nadi reading for Mataji recently specifically mentioned to share only with those who have returned from Pothigai. I understand now why they reserved the right to give to selected souls for many are not ready. As such Tavayogi gives the run of the mill speech at events only giving as much as a wakeup call and introducing the path to the public.
Just as a good speaker would not take the stage and vomit what he had prepared to deliver, but instead upon arrival would access the crowd and speak accordingly to his target group, changing the topic if the need arises, or making it brief and short, if necessary, the Siddhas either stop us midway or have us end the talk if it was going to waste. Thavathiru Rengaraja Desigar in a video says he though he intended to speak more touching on several subtle matters including the Atma but was diverted to devotion and charity as those before him would not understand.
Rather than speak for hours on hand to boost our ego, a wise man would speak as and when necessary. Tavayogi who gave a rare interview for an online news station stopped short of revealing the secret of reading the Jeeva Nadi in his possession.
As I edit the many footages I receive of his talks, I realize that some on stage are dozing off while many in the audience start rattling behind. Hence, he ends up speaking the same thing each year and at each event. The director of the movie "Saguni" highlights this "sickness" in our society. When the guru speaks everyone else speaks too. Observing this two youths stand in line with others to receive his blessing at the end of his speech. When they approach him instead of the guru asking them what their problem was, they ask him if he has a problem and subsequent teach him the secret of packaging and marketing. The next time the drop by, they see that the guru has implemented what was taught to him. The audience is very eager to hear the guru address them or just to look at them, as now the guru just sits with eyes close in their presence. Lord Dakshinamoorthy too is said to have realized that no amount of question and answer, talk and explanation would enlighten his disciples who sat at his feet. Hence, he changes his approach and sat in silence. His students became enlighten in his mere presence. Similarly many are said to have become enlightened, and their questions and doubts answered merely sitting in the presence of Bhagawan Ramana too.
So where do the very few who truly want to progress turn to for further guidance? They need not go knocking on doors for the divine who knows the true seeker yearning for divine knowledge or Gnanam come in person knocking our doors as Ramalinga Adigal expresses in his song "Arutprakasa Maalai". He sings about the divine walking the distance till his feet were sore came to pass him something in his hands. I came to know later that Agathiyar had given him two sweets or Ladu that signified Gnanam. For those who have traveled far on the path of the Siddhas, the Siddhas link them with the Prapanjam that showers this divine knowledge. He is given the key to unlock many mysteries tapping into the Akash that holds the answers.
Though Tavayogi came to our shores following the command of Agathiyar to preach the way and bring people like us ashore, it was a losing battle he admitted. The lure of the fruits in this heavenly nation was too great for many to ignore. They began to partake the fruit and were contented filling their stomachs. Though he wanted to bring us out of Bakti into Gnanam, looking around and accessing the crowd, and seeing that we were basically temple going folks, he refrained from speaking about it. He gave the basic introductory talk on the Siddhas. He must have guessed these subjects were alien to them. We were blessed to have him bring us to the next phase, showing us Pranayama and certain Asanas that we picked up and practiced diligently. We are seeing its results now.
When he did try to speak about Yogam and Gnanam, people just didn't seem to be interested or keen. We can never shut up the crowd. A priest at a temple in my wife's hometown new just the trick. As he was reciting God's names during puja, the temple committee standing front row were chatting away. Noticing this the priest suddenly stopped his recitation. The men's speech and another devotee speaking on a phone at the back was heard distinctly. They were embarrassed and ashamed and shut up for good. The priest continued to recite. But generally, the one who takes the stand or stage stands with pride and isn't going to back off giving his speech. When I served as the chairman of the Parent-Teachers association in my daughter's school, I would be given preprepared text to speak on. I would access the student gathering and cut short the speech if the students were distracted and not listening.
I happen to come across an audio recording of Tavayogi's speech that he gave after we carried out puja to Agathiyar at a temple many years ago. But as it was almost lunch time when he began to speak, people were obviously hungry not for what he had to say but for food. Sadly, the lovely speech he gave, where he spoke on Yoga for the first time in a temple, did not register in them.
In another rare speech he brings to us Gnanam.
In many instances the din from the crowd overshadowed his speech and we had to hush the attendees. Once as we followed the deity making its rounds around the temple grounds, I could not fail to see devotees going about telling their stories. I wonder when we shall sit in silence and listen to something good. Just as the chatter never subsides as we sit trying to meditate, the chatter of people around us never dies off. Many a times I have seen people speak loudly at funerals not the least respecting the departed soul and its grieving family members. We always have something to say to another person and pick the wrong time to do it. Place them on stage and they go speechless. Though I would choose not to speak about these misfits in society, it has to be said so that we do not make the same mistakes. Come to think about it maybe we are the misfits in reality finding it difficult to fit into society because of our principles and views and thoughts that we uphold. We are square pegs trying to fit into a round hole.