Today I fully realize what took place as I sat before Supramania Swami at his village home in Nachananthal, some eight kilometers from Tiruvanannamalai township in the late afternoon on that eventful day in 2003. Supramania Swami connected to the Prapanjam or "the network" that day during the five memorable hours I was in his presence, revealing my future without any external aid or science. It makes me recall the movie "Avatar", though the Na’vi and Pandora's wildlife tapped into the network via “Tsaheylu”.
"The network forms a collective consciousness the Na’vi and Pandora's wildlife can tap into via “Tsaheylu,” a process involving specialized appendages called neural queues, which all Pandora's lifeforms possess. The neural queues of Avatar's Na'vi are sheathed in a ponytail, a detail the forthcoming Avatar 2 will explore further. As well as the collective consciousness, the Na’vi can connect one-on-one with animals, letting them think, feel, and communicate with the animal. This includes mounts like the dire horse and mountain banshee which, under the direct control of their riders, become formidable hunting companions." (Source: https://screenrant.com/avatar-how-navi-bond-with-pandora-animals/)
I also now fully understand why Supramania Swami told me the following three actions have to be carried out in private: eating, having sex, and puja. People would not understand the bliss that one begets in these three moments when coming in contact with food, the flesh, and the soul especially when you begin to connect with the Prapanjam. Giving oneself totally to these moments brings us to a state of total bliss and ecstasy.
I cannot bring myself to share the table with others these days. I prefer to take my food in silence, savoring the taste and essence of the food and drinks that go beyond the tongue and its taste buds and seep into every cell in the body.
Similarly, I enjoy intimate moments with my wife. Neale shares God's words regarding sex.
"Because everything in life is a conversation with god - a never-ending prayer - even those things we do in the dead of night, in the moments of our lustiest passion, as well as our most tender sharing. God says, "You have repressed sex, even as you have repressed life, rather than fully self-expressing, with abandon and joy. You have shamed sex, even as you have shamed life, calling it evil and wicked, rather than the highest gift and the greatest pleasure." If you can imagine god in your bedroom and still be comfortable, then you can imagine god in almost any other context as well."
In puja, we tend to go into a state of bliss that many cannot comprehend. Hence they give a stare or choose to look away. Hence in these three states of extreme ecstasy, it is best that it is done in the confines of the home away from the eyes of the public. But as for the bliss that overcomes us in places of worship, I have had many moments where the divine sort of pulls up a screen all around us. None around us actually realize that something was happening.
I enjoy the silent moments too that god and I share, though a sudden and unknown fear crops up within me in these moments. As there are no external rituals now, in these moments I am on my own or so I thought. When Agathiyar asked me how it felt to be doing nothing and if I was enjoying it, சும்ம இருக்கும் சுகத்தை அனுபவிக்கிறாயா? I voiced the fear that sets in, in sitting in silence, all alone. That is when he corrected me that I was never alone. He surprised me by listing the reasons to drop my unknown fear.
He said that "You kept me by your side, என்னை அருகில் அமரவைத்தாய்" referring to that moment of loneliness that crept into me as I was watching some short films and listening to some of my favorite songs on my home theatre system - alone. I looked over my shoulders and saw him sitting majestically on his throne in my prayer room as the door was ajar. I invited him to share the settee and sofa and share the moment with me. I lifted his statue and placed him on the sofa and we both watched and listened.
He asked, "Why worry when you speak my name the whole day long? நாள் தோறும் என் நாமம் சொல்லி கொண்டு இருக்கும் போது என்ன கவலை?"
He asked, "Why the loneliness when my daughter (my wife) is with you? என் மகள் உன்னோடு இருக்கும் போது என்ன தனிமை?" though she was away that weekend.
He also asked, "Why the loneliness when the Prapanjam is with you? பிரபஞ்சமே உன்னோடு இருக்கும் போது என்ன தனிமை?"
Finally he asked, "Why do you fear loneliness? நீ ஏன் தனிமையை கண்டு பயப்படுகின்றாய்?"
To return the above gesture, Agathiyar surprised me the other day by calling me over to sit and meditate with him. He held my hands as we sat together in silence.
People seem to think that joy is in the company of others. They look forward eagerly to the weekends when they could visit others, talk over a drink, etc. They fail to understand that this joy can be matched in the company of nature and kids. Though nature can show its fury and kids can test your patience at times, the sheer presence in her being in the former and their intelligence in the latter is truly amazing. Above all these, the company of God gives us immense joy.
Agathiyar told me something that has been shared by Neale Donald Walsch in his conversation with God: "Everything I experience I experience through You." When my spirit was down learning about karma, learning of my past sins, and recalling similar deeds that I did in this life, Agathiyar consoled me in the Nadi telling me that all those were his doings too as he wanted me to have those experiences too. I guess guiding and tasking me to carry out many things at AVM was also a process in having me learn lessons from the experiences gained.
God also tells Neale and us in his book "The Wisdom of the Universe", to "Honor your body as the magnificent vehicle through which the cycle of your present life is being created and through which the extraordinary gift of life is being experienced."