A friend dropped by last evening. He was sharing about his friend who began to have sudden vertigo attacks. He shared what he had told his friend. He told him that above and beyond he being grateful to God, God should be grateful for having him as a good student who obeys the guru's words. I agreed with him. I have mentioned too in my earlier post that the guru-disciple relationship was two-way where both tend to benefit from each other's company. While many gurus do not reveal this fact, Supramania Swami in asking me if I was doing tavam pretty well knowing that I didn't, reminded me to do it for he said in doing it his stature would rise. It surprised me then. But later when Dhanvanthri came he confirmed this telling us that our tavam had elevated Tavayogi to the state of Jothi.
Knowing this should not make a student arrogant though. Neither should the guru be arrogant. We depend on each other for our spiritual evolvement. The whole lineage of gurus before our guru is literally behind us and shall come to assist us to progress further. They are elated to see a student succeed. Like in the game of sports where we collect points for the respective houses we are in, the whole lineage of gurus rejoices when a new student passes the test and is accepted into their folds.
I feel so small and ashamed before the all-knowing Agathiyar. Looking back on my life and the mistakes, blunders, and atrocities that I had done I am ashamed to stand before him. We know that he knows all and can never hide anything from him. Coming to read the Nadi, he spoke even about my past lives and the future that was waiting for me in these Nadi readings. Coming to my first guru Supramania Swami he tapped into the Prapanjam and spoke for five solid hours about me and my future. Coming to Tavayogi though he did not dwell into these I know that he knew many a thing about me too, as Agathiyar always confides with him. Yet they all forgave me for these blunders. Agathiyar went to the extent to console me telling me that it was all his doing, removing the guilt from me. He said that he wanted me to have these experiences too. He loved me for what I am. Both Supramania Swami and Tavayogi too loved me for what I was.
Just as Agathiyar wanted me to have these experiences, we shall listen on to a conversation between God and Atom.
God: You see Atom, every act of hatred and violence you committed against another, you were committing against yourself and every act of love and hand of kindness, you also extended unto yourself
Atom: God, why do all this?
God: Someday, long from now, you will become like me. You will mature to become what I am
Atom: I’m a god?
God: No, not yet. You see, I was once where you stand right now. It is not until you have lived every human life inside of your universe that I may take you from this place. Once you have walked in the shoes of every race, religion, gender, sexual orientation, and loving and hateful person, it is only then that you will understand how precious life truly is
(Awessum Frankie's transcript)
How do you then thank God for his kindness, and compassion and for sending over such magnificent gurus of high standing to tutor us? Do you write a letter to him? What is his address then? Where is his residence? Who shall deliver this letter? Or do you fold the letter into an origami airplane and let the wind bring it to him? Do you tie a note to the leg of a homing pigeon and let it deliver it to God? Or do you write out a piece of appreciation and post it on social media hoping that it would go viral and he shall pick it up? Do you pen him a thank you note and stick it on your refrigerator expecting him to see it as he comes snooping in the middle of the night looking for something to eat? Do you leave behind fruits as offerings in the places designated for his worship by man as a sign of gratitude? Do you buy him new clothes and dress his statue and garland him as a gesture of appreciation? Or do you chant his name that is passed on to us by others and pray that it shall reach his ears? How do you thank God then?
I did have my fair share of doubts and questions back then. Would a true God only do justice and good to his followers and devotees and ignore or dump the others? Does he only help bring on riches to the rich and make the poor poorer by the day? Does he only bring on suffering to his believers while the atheists live a good life? Lord Shiva had to come in my dreams to stop me from questioning further back then in 1988. All these questions and more had been asked by me and others whom I spoke to, on a major part of my life's journey of some 64 years walking the earth in the flesh. How would you answer these questions?
If we are to question these, it only shows that we have placed a barrier between him and us. This is Dvaita. If society alienated us from God instilling fear and apprehension, the guru comes to relieve us of these. The guru brings us closer to God. Prior to the guru's arrival, we saw God as existing outside of us. With the coming of the guru, we begin to question the practices, rituals, traditions and customs, faith and beliefs. Does God belong to a particular race or faith? Why limit him to the statue that resides in the temple and places of worship and our home altars? Why limit him to the pictures and paintings of him? Does God need to be depicted as a statue or a painting to be able to worship him? Does he need to be given a form and a name? Why has God been caged and held captive in these images and sounds? Can he be chained and shackled? Do we need to wait in line to have access to see him? Does he only see us at particular hours of the day? Do we need middlemen to reach out to God?
The objective here is to merge in Advaita. If we close ranks with God we can leave the world he created (Salokyam), and take on the task he does as proxies (Saameepam), and take on his form (Saarupam) and eventually merge in Saayutchyam. Indeed this is what Agathiyar did at AVM. He dropped his form and name for us. Today he stays as Prapanjam in that space that once was a prayer room where stood the statue of Agathiyar.