In these past 20 years of worship to him Agathiyar has answered and finally made me understand and accept all the discrepancies and myriad forms and methods of worship including even those in his path. What angered and frustrated me for the loss of answers is clear now. For instance why my close associates suffered and even those who were servants of the Lord serving them faithfully. He reveal something known as karma and I understood and accepted it. For instance why some movements were focused on feeding the hungry until this day. This was an easy means to remove one's karma and relief the karma of the receivers besides appeasing their hunger and keeping them alive. For instance why another movement had moved to the worship of Jothi. They had progressed to another phase. For instance why a guru took me to task for worshipping the Agathiyars statue. He was speaking about moving up the ladder. For instance why Tavayogi kept reminding us to come out of Bhakti and temple worship into Gnanam. He too was speaking about taking the leap from the mainstream religions and their rituals, customs, and traditions into something more finer and subtle, leaving the gross behind. Today I can accept all these as we have been there and most importantly moved ahead. But we are not to become comfortable as yet for according to Ramalinga Adigal there is much ahead. Listing some stages he tells us that there are many stages yet to transcend that he cannot find words to describe.
It is all about transforming oneself moving from the gross back to the subtle and thence experiencing the states that come with it. Dr. C. Srinivasan, writing on Ramalinga Adigal's experiences in "An Introduction to the Philosophy of Ramalinga Swami" published by Ilakkia Nilayam, Tiruchi, 1968, lists the experiences gained by way of using this very body as a vehicle and bringing the desired change within, and moving further in changing the very physical gross body into something much subtle.
In achieving the body of love or Sudha Deham or Anbu Uru it gives rise to the experience known as Uyir Anubhavam. Next in achieving the body of grace or Pranava Deham or Arul Uru, it gives rise to Arul Anubhavam. Then one achieves the body of Bliss or Gnana Deham or Inba Uru that gives rise to experience and realization of God Supreme or Siva Anubhavam.
So how does this transformation come about? Ramalinga Adigal shares his secret in attaining these transformations and states. He sings that one has to think incessantly until he feels and melts with love for god. In such a melting mood one burst into tears and sings the praise of god and soothing warmth is produced in the aspirant. When this universal love and sacred warmth develop, the body, as well as the soul, became prepared for the descent of grace, in the form of light. When this occurs, the material body of impure elements is transformed into a ‘body of pure light’. The ultimate and greatest transformation in human evolution: a transmutation into the godhead, which he referred to as merging with the body of supreme wisdom - the body of god supreme (Gnana Deham). The extent of this achievement though is dependent on the grace of Arutperunjhoti.
Here we come to understand why the saints have always spoken and sung about the need for God's grace or Arul besides our own initial efforts. Tavayogi tells us that our efforts are only till the 2nd chakra. We need God's grace to progress further. With his grace, we drop our efforts and everything happens on its own accord.
If coming to the path and knowing about my karma and taking the necessary measures as outlined by Agathiyar in my very first Nadi reading helped clear the rocks that stood in the way of the flow of the river of life, depriving me of the many benefits, that I was supposed to derive, from the puja and the practice of Yoga I put in in the beginning years of my adulthood, paved the way for me to officially learn these practices from Tavayogi in 2005 and 2007 respectively the river of life that I sailed on in a boat called Yoga with the oar and lessons to use it that were given by Tavayogi, build up enormous heat as a result of tapas or the austerities done which burnt the fortress down to an extent. A sharp excruciating pain would arise in my lower back, and shoot down down my right leg to my toes akin to the symptoms of sciatica but both he and the doctors ruled it out. The doctors gave me a clean bill of health while Agathiyar taking it lightly brushed my pain aside. Later he told me the reason for the excruciating pain that I had endured between 2010 and 2012 was that my Muladhara chakra had opened up. I was asked to stop the Yoga practice and given herbal prescriptions to counter and bring back a balance to the 3 dosas. When that pain was relieved in a mysterious way in 2012, the pain in my lower back came back several times in 2016 and 2918. It shifted between my right and left groins, and my left testicle. This pain after some time was felt in the chest. In Tavayogi's demise in 2018 and his absence, Agathiyar extended his hand in a timely manner. In 2019 Agathiyar although brought a halt to puja and charity revived the practice of Yoga in me. But as Tavayogi had mentioned its waters began to pond at the 2nd chakra.
Agathiyar told me on 30.1. 2020 I had stagnated in my worldly affairs. He told me, "You cannot possibly break the shackle alone. Hence follow the practices that I am to give you." நீ உலக வாழ்க்கையில் நீர்தேங்கிறாய். இவ்கடிவாளத்தால் உம்மால் மீண்டு வர இயலாது. ஆகையால் யாம் சொல்லும் வழிமுறைகளைச் செய்து வா. In July of 2022, he told me that "Currently your Muladhara and Svadhisthana are open. At present, your breath is at the pond (lake). The time of its opening is near. Now is the right time to start your practice. This would open up the chakra completely. இத்தருணம் உமக்கு மூலாதாரம் திறந்தது, ஸ்வாதிஸ்டானம் திறந்தது. இப்பொது மான் மூச்சி குளத்தில் இருக்கிறது. அவை திறக்கும் தருணம் வந்தது. இப்போதுதான் நீ உமது பயிற்சியினை தொடங்க வேண்டும். இந்த நிலையில் அச்சக்கரம் முற்றும் திறந்துவிடும். Shortly after on 22 August 2022, I felt a pull of a nerve and a tug right below the navel immediately upon waking up and stretching myself in bed at 6.40am. It brought on a swirling sensation followed by a chillness. My whole body became numb right to the tips. But it was blissful. Soon I felt nauseous and had the urge come on to pee and urine. I collapsed twice on the way to the toilet picking myself up each time. Back from the toilet, all was fine. The next day, I woke up at 7.20am, to go to the loo but I could not piss. I picked myself up and climbed onto the bed. My body became numb from the shoulders down. I lay like a dead log on my bed. Although I could not move even an inch of my torso I was able to see, hear and talk and was aware of what was happening to me. I asked myself if this was what a dead body would feel like. Soon it went away. Seeking answers to what had taken place, Agathiyar cleared the air later. He told me not to worry and said that the ponded water was released. Nevertheless, he gives a warning to all of us. When the chakras are activated late in life it would have some adverse results on our bodies. When the heat of tapas increases in our body, blood flow will be less bringing on numbness. This would result in urinary and excretion problems.
கவலை கொள்ள ஒன்றுமில்லை. தேங்கி இருந்த நீர் வெளி கொண்டது. ஆனபோதும் முதிர்ந்த நிலையில் சக்கரங்கள் திறப்பதனால் உதிர வாட்டம் கொண்டுள்ளது. ஆகையால் எண்கள் மேரு பெறும். ஆங்கில மருத்துவம் கொண்டு அதனைச் சுத்தம் செய்து கோல். முதிர்ச்சியில் சக்கரங்கள் திறக்கும்போது அவ்வுடல் சில பாதிப்பினை ஏற்றுக்கொள்ளும். ஆகையால் மருத்துவம் உனக்குத் தேவை. உனது உடலில் உஷ்ணம் ஏற ஏற உதிரம் குறையும். உதிரம் குறைந்தால் உடல் மறுத்துப் போகும். உடல் மறுத்துப் போனால் சிறுநீர் கோளாறு கழிவில் கோளாறு. மருத்துவம் கொண்டு அதைச் சீர் படுத்திக் கொள்.
Then Agathiyar went on to ask me to reveal henceforth through this blog the changes that my body undergoes. Enough of writing about him he said and added that if one wants to come to merge with the Jothi through its worship, he needs to know what changes would happen within the body. I was asked to share this with the readers of this blog. His revelations will be my experience he said. இனி உன் எழுத்துக்கள் உடல் மாற்றங்கள் பற்றியதாக இருக்கட்டும். எனது பெருமை போதும். ஜோதியினை வழி பட்டால் அதோடு இணைய வேண்டும் என்றால் உடலில் எவ்வித மாற்றங்கள் ஏற்படும் என்று உன் வாசகர்களுக்குத் தெரிய படுத்து. உனது அனுபவம் எனது அறிவு.
Agathiyar surprises me by saying that my gurus should have come to my assistance. But as they are engaged in his work, they had asked Agathiyar to come to our need. உன் குரு இருந்து செய்ய வேண்டியது. என் தேவைக்கு அழைத்தேன். இப்போது அவன் என்னை அனுப்பி வைத்தான். அவனின் ஆசி என்றும் உண்டு. நேர்மையான சீடனை எள்ளளவும் மறக்கமாட்டான். சுப்பிரமணியனும் அப்படியே.
Later Agathiyar comes to give me strength and courage besides reiterating that I share my experiences with readers. He says, "Do not be afraid of death. It is but another door to another journey. One who invites death is a Siddha. There is much I need to carry out through you. Enough of my praise. Write about your bodily experiences. Let your writings be about the changes taking place in your body. Let your readers know the changes that take place in the body if they come to worship the light and seek to merge with it. My wisdom shall be your experience. Experience first and I shall clarify the experiences later. Experience is knowledge to you. Nothing is beyond experience." மரணபயம் வேண்டாம். மரணம் ஒன்றும் அல்ல. மற்றொரு பயணத்தின் கதவு. எவன் ஒருவன் மரணத்தை அன்போடு வரவேற்கின்றானோ அவன் சித்தன் ஆகின்றான். உன்னில் இருந்து நான் காரியங்கள் செய்வதற்கு இன்னும் நிறைய இருக்கிறது. எனது பெருமை போதும். இனி உன் எழுத்துக்கள் உடல் மாற்றங்கள் உடல் அனுபவம் பற்றியதாக இருக்கட்டும். ஜோதியினை வழிபட்டால் அதில் இணைய வேண்டும் என்றால் உடலில் எவ்வித மாற்றங்கள் ஏற்படும் என்று உன் வாசகர்களுக்குத் தெரிய படுத்து. உனது அனுபவம் எனது அறிவு. அனுபவமே உனக்கு அறிவு. அனுபவத்தைத் தாண்டி ஒன்றுமே இல்லை. நீ அனுபவம் கொண்டுவா, பின்னர் உரைக்கிறேன்.
Agathiyar gives me confidence saying, "If going within is difficult think of it as a practice for you. Going within will bring you to merge with the Prapanjam. There is no easy way. What you go through is very much easier and milder that what I went through." உள் பயணம் சிரமமாக இருக்குமானால் அதுவே உமக்கு பயிற்சி. ஆழ்ந்து போவது நீங்கள் பிரபஞ்சத்தோடு இணைவதற்கு. இதற்கு சுலபமான வழி இல்லை. நான் கண்டதை விட நீங்கள் கண்டு வருவது மிகவும் சுலபமானது.
Agathiyar ends the note by telling me that there is no easier way to attain or merge with the breath, the sensation, the vibration, the magnetism, the Prapanjam, and the Jothi. With a little effort from us, the Siddhas shall aid us further. Then the energies will do the rest. The breath is akin to the river that turns the turbine machine in our case the chakras to produce electricity and energy. We have basically become a dynamo. The swirling sensation felt for several weeks in the abdomen just below my navel was regularly felt in the top of my head but with a lesser intensity. I guess this is what Agathiyar meant when he said I shall feel a magnetic wave arise. The body is now a magnet that is attracting the effulgence from beyond. We understand that while we see lightning appear in the skies and strike things on the ground, there is a small amount of electricity that reaches out to it from the earth. The small amount of electricity meets the larger expanse that is God. A clear nostril is a highway for these energies to hitch on the breath and make their way swiftly to the depo at the top of the head. A couple of days later, it seemed more like a flowering of petals and was blissful. On 19 October 2022 as I lay on my sofa in the living room with my eyes close, my finger that was touching the crown of my head could feel a pulse. This is usually observed in small children. Modern science brushes this off as "feeling a pulse in the fingertip. It refutes that "there is no way that our fingers would be able to detect any blood flow given the condition that between the finger and the scalp and the arteries of our brain is the skull." It was there for some time.
Lately, a pain similar to that which I had endured in the years between 2010 and 2012 made a comeback. Now it has moved to the left of my neck. It makes its way to the back of my head. It results in pain in the left ear too. Excessive wind would be expelled from the body during these times. The pain would leave after several days on its own accord. Now it is back again in the same spot. Initially, when the pain came on I thought I had sprained my neck while asleep probably as a result of my tummy sleeping position. I guess like in the past Agathiyar, Dhanvantri or Lord Murugan have to come to my aid again to bring some relieve and explain further what was going on. Let us see if they come tomorrow as we celebrate Agathiyar's annual puja at AVM.
Since Agathiyar had asked that henceforth I share my experiences relating to the bodily changes taking place in me, I began to post them without holding anything back for going by Tavayogi's stand on these matters he chose not to speak about them. Even when a news channel asked him how he came to gain the "power" or "sakti" to read the Jeeva Nadi that we know to be a blank piece of palm leaf, he stopped short of saying that "While I was in the caves... I should not say.. that someone gave me...." He refused to reveal further.
Just as the butterfly transforms and evolves from an egg to a pupa to a caterpillar and an adult so is it with us, transforming and evolving into the image of God. For this to happen we need his grace. To attain his grace we have to begin from the start - Worship.