After Agathiyar called me over to India for the first time in 2003 on the pretext of having me visit temples as part of my parikaram or remedies for the fault in the stars that registered way back in the numerous past births that I took and made a blunder, and the second time in 2005 to spend some time at Tavayogi's ashram and learn a thing or two, he told me that the miracles he showed shall continue once I was back home. Then through a further Nadi reading, he coaxed me to visit several more places of interest with promises of rewards and treasures. But after coming to him and after he sent me two wonderful gurus, I turned down all the said treasures and gifts for my gurus. I told him if at all he wanted to gift me anything let that be in the privacy of my home. He stopped calling me over except once more in 2013 telling me to visit my guru. I feared something was to happen to him as those returning told me Tavayogi was not too well. I packed my family and bags and stood in front of his ashram. A hale and healthy Tavayogi greeted us all and took us places too. Did Agathiyar trick me into visiting him?
And so it rained in my forest. When I asked that he give me whatever I deserved in my home he brought all the deities, gods, and goddesses along to bless and gift us. He assigned Karupa to stand guard over the venue. Goddess Ma dressed in the finest of outfits came and performed a dance before Agathiyar. Hanuman and Sri Rama came. Lord Narayana came. Dhanavantri came whenever someone needed healing. Goddess Ma and Bhogar came and performed abhisegam to Agathiyar showing us how the gods and Siddhas do it. He summoned Thirumular and Bhogar and gave me the privilege to stand among these grandmasters. Lord Murugan who is ever playful, having requested me to give way, churned up a storm and toppled many over catching everyone off-guard. And most recently Agathiyar and Lord Siva danced their hearts into this humble home of ours making their way into our hearts for good too.
If Agathiyar and Ramalinga Adigal taking over from Tavayogi who officially initiated us in the path and showed us Vaasi Yoga and several asanas, had us put in much practice these days they come and set off the fireworks by their touch and embrace. If Agathiyar had us stand aside and watch as he brought strangers over to our home and magically healed and cured both physical and psychological troubles initially, telling us that he was only using our body and the venue to do his work, Lord Murugan came and said the same and asked that we allow and give way to the arrival of the divine energies waiting to come down. The moment I stood aside all heaven broke loose. These divine plays continue to this day. If during one of the Nadi readings he mentioned that the skies would open as a result of the puja conducted at Kallar Ashram and AVM on Agathiyar's Jayanthi, during the recent Sivarathri he said the Prapanjam would split into two halves and all the energies would be made available to us. Agathiyar came with Lord Siva to perform the Rudra Tandava or dance before us and invited us to dance along holding our hands.
There were times they quipped and made jokes. Tavayogi coming in a lean man told us that he had lost weight and made us all laugh. Agathiyar in crowning a devotee as Vilaiyaathu Siddhar or a playful Siddhar made us laugh loud. Agathiyar made us laugh when he asks a devotee to channel his question to Lord Murugan as the latter was more qualified to answer as he was a householder having two wives.
Though their actions can be comical at times there were times when they lost their cool especially when we refused to do what they say or practice the teachings given. Worst still is when some have received blows for belittling the Siddhas and their path by associating with the Siddhas when they hardly follow and practice the ways of the Siddhas. Someone told me that his parents read a lot about the Siddhas when I questioned him further since he told me the family was on the Siddha path. Another did not treat his wife well though he was deeply into all forms of spiritual practice. He too received a blow. I too was warned to drop my anger by Agathiyar through an hour-long private counseling session in the Nadi many years back. Agathiyar came recently and asked if he should take the class again, sending me to hide my head in the sand as the ostrich does. I know his Vaasikol shall then fly as Thor throws his hammer around if I do not restrain my anger. He means business because he loves us. If earlier during the hour-long Nadi reading he explained that anger shall destroy all the hard work we had put in, in carrying out tapas or tavam or austerities, now he tells me that all his effort in bringing me to the state that I am in would go to waste if I were to continue being angry. The energy that flowers in the crown of my head shall fall back into the deep reaches of the dark dungeon in the Muladhara and all shall be lost.
The very first mention of its activation was in November of 2011, after my long 2 1/2 years of agony when I decided to ask Agathiyar in the Nadi the reason as I was given a clean bill by the doctors. Only then did he reveal the real reason for the injury. Although it seemed to have been caused by my action in coughing out the phlegm to clear my throat, he told me it was subtle in nature and not physical, hence he brushed it aside lightly. He classified it as Sparisa Unarvu, something that I understood now was related to the astral body. He spoke about the chakras and the movement of subtle energies, which cannot be seen or measured by instruments, to be the cause of my misery. The pain slowed me down. I had to pull myself out of bed and drive to work. Although externally the cough triggered the chain of reactions, the cough was in turn the result of certain changes happening in the subtle body. He said I faced discomfort and pain in the body due to the heat generated in the Muladhara from my yoga practices. The three Dosas too have run haywire and out of proportion. Hence he asks to stop all forms of practice. He suggested several Siddha herbs to consume.
பாரிச (உடலின் ஒரு பக்கம்) பீடைகளும் வந்து நிற்கும், உற்றதொரு மூலாதார சக்கரமும், உயர் விதமாய் உஷ்ணம் அடைந்ததால், உரைக்க வரும் சோர்வுகளும் தேகம் தன்னில், உரைக்கலாம் முக்கூற்று திரிப்பும் இப்போ முறையாகச் சமநிலையில் இல்லாதிருக்கச், சோதனைகள் வந்து நிற்கும் அச்சம் மிகுந்து, செப்பலாம் தவம் தன்னை நிறுத்திவைக்கப். பங்கம் ஏதும் வந்திடாது. கலக்கம் கொள்ளா.
The pain surprisingly left me in 2012. It was truly magical. The physiotherapist, at the government clinic, out of the blue asked me to perform the exercises she gave me, before her. How is it that the pain was released the moment I did it before her that day and not any sooner during the seven months I diligently did it at home.
Though Tavayogi in teaching us the Vaasi and Asana practice never mentioned that it had the potential to raise the Kundalini that is what it actually did. Though Agathiyar told us that we had just received a treasure-house of goodies referring to the practice he too stopped short of mentioning it. The pain recurred in 2016 and later in 2018 but at both times was magically healed by the divine and its missionaries.
It was only in a later reading on 5.9. 2019 that he revealed the full story. Though neither my family nor I remember what exactly triggered the fall, I lay in front of my bathroom door and was crawling or slithering like a snake. But though pain ran through my body it was blissful. My body writhe in pain and bliss at the same time.
மும்மலங்கள் அற்றதொரு தேகம் என்பதாலே, முக்கணும் முறை திறந்து உட்சியும் திறந்து, குண்டலினி உயர்ந்து தான் கனல் எழும்பி, அமிர்தத்தை இடை விடாது உண்டு கொண்டு இருக்கிறாய். குண்டலினி சக்தி எல்லாம் எழும்புவது எல்லாம் குவளையத்தில் பாம்பின் போன்று நெளிய நேரும். ஆனால் ஆனந்தம் ஆனந்தம் அதுதான் என்போம். மைந்தன் நீயும் நீ உள்ளே அமைதியுடன் இருந்து தான் ஆர்ப்பாட்டம் இல்லாது அமைதியுடன் பூசை இல்லமத்தில் செய்வாய்.
All these are mystical and too difficult to swallow right? But it has become a norm for us at AVM. The Gods have left heaven and are staying with us. Now I understand what Ramalinga Adigal meant when he told that Lord Siva and the Devas would come down to learn at the Sathya Gnana Sabai which was to become a Padasalai or place of learning. And to think all these started with devotion and worship to them. If Tavayogi vented his frustration at those who seemed to forever remain in temple worship and never sought Gnanam, I used to get angry with people around me when even after watching the series of events unfold right under their eyes that baffled and astonished us, they seem to be blind to it and it never occurred to them to enquire and yearn that God visits their homes too. If suppose they preferred to let God be in the confines of the temples where they drop by as and when necessary. Tavayogi revealed the reason when I placed the question to him once when he came to us rising from his samadhi, hence quenching both our thirsts. He told me they took birth just to satisfy their desires and cravings. Let them be. Do not force them. Since then I let go of those who did not even show an inkling of love for their creator. As for those who yearn to return the gratitude I spend hours talking about the Lilas of the divine.
I began to understand that even to visit a temple a person needs the Lord's grace without which he would ply the route daily and never have the thought of stopping and finding out what went on within the outer walls. As Manickavasagar sang "Aval Arulaale Avan Taal Paninthu" we need his grace first. Next, inquisitiveness and curiosity build to know more. He attends religious events. Soon he is not satisfied and begins to realize that there is more to it than rituals. He seeks a guru. A genuine guru rather they feed him with information drawn from his own experience, sets him on the right track where he shall discover for himself the truth. He shall go through turmoils and rapids and surface momentarily for a breather and drown again and resurface again. This shall go on until he is ready and fit to receive the truth. The truth is made known to him. He settles down cozy and warm finding a nook in a maddening world around him. He is lost in the bliss that prevails within. He is lost in the bliss of listening to the divine music that arises within which drowns all other noises. He is lost in his breath that travels within just as Ramalinga Adigal hinted that a doubt shall arise whether the Prana dwells, lives, and travels in us or if we live in the Prana. In other words, it's akin to what Agathiyar told us that he was the prapanjam and the prapanjam was in him.
பிராண சக்தி ஊடுருவிச் செல்கிறதே, அதுவே பிரணவ தேகம். முதல் படியில் இருக்கிறாய். பிரணவத்தின் சக்தி உணரும் தருணம் பிரணவத்தின் நீயே அதைக் காண்பாய். உன் பிரணவத்தால் ஊடுகிறாயா? அல்லது பிரணவம் உன்னுள் ஊடுகிறதா என்ற குழப்பம் ....என்று அப்படியில் காலடி வைகிறாயோ அன்று உமக்கு விடை பிறக்கும். இன்பத்தில் ஆழ்ந்து கொண்டுவா. அது பேர் ஆனந்தம். இன்னும் இருக்கிறது.
These days I cannot even bring myself to pray for myself and others as we used to do in earlier times. Speaking to a fellow devotee she mentioned how when she had mentioned to Acharya Gurudasan who received a transfer order to return to Bangalore after serving in Malaysia, to pray for an extension, he replied that he would not want to do that. If he gets to stay it is their gift. If he has to go it is their plan. How wonderful. Both ways he has accepted it as the divines doing. I guess we were selfish and wanted more of him as he had taught us Kriya Yoga during his stay here.
Then comes a song that truly tears away the false masks we have over us.
If Agathiyar had asked to share many things there were times when he asked me to zip up and keep it within the four walls. If only the walls could speak or replay all that has taken place in a short period of time at AVM....