It is true that we never cherish the greatness of someone until he is gone. Only when Supramania Swami passed on did his son express his sadness in not realizing who his father was. I am glad that I fully took him as a guru and he accepted me as his student, disciple, and son. I think I was the only disciple of his then. As for Tavayogi he never took anyone as a disciple besides Mataji. It was only in 2016, on his last visit to Malaysia that he openly pronounced us as his student in a gathering among a few from the AVM family. I am glad that I stood with him and did not move camp all those years. Today I see his touch in every moment of my life clearly. He had said and uttered the right words and advice then, though we could not make them out. Every puzzle piece begins to fall in its place. Now with both my gurus having left their physical body, Agathiyar takes up any available devotee's physical body to continue from where my gurus left. It is truly amazing that the lineage stands behind us in the absence of the guru in physical form. One wonders why they need to go to this extent to bring salvation to our souls. Agathiyar tells me that we have known each other for crores of births. கோடி கோடி பிறவி நீ என்னுள் தொடர்பு கொண்டு உள்ளாய். I guess I needed to take up the crores of births mentioned just to come to this little bit of understanding. I know that the schooling is not over and never shall be over. We shall keep getting attached and keep learning to let go only to get attached again to something else. Is it a losing battle?
Yesterday he touched my heart by touching my cheeks. I saw the love he had for us. If only we could lay aside all our doubts and love him with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength. But man who is tainted with Karma has doubts arise that confuse him and has veils that prevent him from seeing the clear picture. There is no clarity in thought. It is only when we are clear in our thoughts that we can make wise and right decisions. Agathiyar tells us in the face of problems to step aside and look in as a third person. As long as we are in the circle we cannot see clearly. He gives an example of the village Panchayat leader who stands as an arbitrator and helps settle issues. Agathiyar also gives an example of how the judge discharges himself when the case brought before him involves his kin.
Rather than believing that problems cling to them, it happens that many cling to their problems even after they are counseled. That is how we stay attached and bonded to all things and issues. Agathiyar in guiding the three women yesterday taught us the same too not to get attached. It is only when we get attached that we find it difficult to let go. Lord Murugan in coming some time back tells us that we are the cause of all our troubles. We have to unknot it. Agathiyar tells us not to pity anyone. He asked us to help in whatever way we can and move on with our lives. This saves us from getting attached. I guess we should all learn to see things as a medical doctor does. He just does his profession professionally. No strings attached.
I guess we have to be cruel at times to drive the point. A guru has to discipline his students at times. If something was for our good, the guru steps aside and watches, letting it happen and take place, though it might seem cruel. He knows that we shall learn a much-needed lesson from these experiences.
The guru will shame us too to see if we stand the heat or make a run for it. A guru shall be merciless and a tyrant too. There are many shades of the guru. End of the day it is all fated where we end up and with whom. That guru would turn our fate around either for the better or for the worse.
In having tiny resentments in us we are not allowing the guru to work in us. In having doubts we are not allowing access to him to work on us. One has to surrender totally to him, to open the floor to him, and to take over the steering. But what we do is hold on to our lives while offering a portion to him. Agathiyar tells us to back off once we have surrendered or placed our wishes to the Prapanjam. It cannot work its magic if we still keep interfering. The Prapanjam knows what is best for us.