If I had been writing about what I had read previously, Agathiyar had me write about my experiences. Having us walk the phases of Sariyai, Kriyai, and Yogam he now brings us Gnanam that transforms our thoughts and understanding. Now he comes personally to give us Gnanam. In dishing out Gnanam to us Agathiyar is giving us bitter pills to swallow. If Tavayogi kept breaking my hold on things including my attachment to him, Agathiyar is doing the same breaking the time-held traditions and beliefs too. He is having us see it in a new light. I guess this is what enlightenment is all about, seeing the mountain from a different perspective as the reformed watcher, having gone through the turmoil of the spiritual path. Though we understand what he is bringing us to, much of what he says cannot be shared as it would bring about confusion among those who merely watch and have not tracked the path. Each has to walk the path to come to an understanding. Merely reading books and even these posts and blog, would not make us a Siddha. Much of what is experienced cannot be translated into words or explained. One has to live these experiences. And each's experience is different. We have to live the way to see the truth that unfolds. I guess this is what prompts many to take up the path, living the way, following a guru. Here is where ashrams came about into being. But where do you go in these times to further your spiritual knowledge and quench your thirst? True gurus are a rarity these days. Many take to the net. But an online guru would not be responsible to you if you mess up your life following him. Such men who truly are yearning to know are truly in a dilemma. I guess this is the reason Agathiyar came to us after the demise of Tavayogi. He now speaks to us through devotees for "How else am I going to talk to you" he asks.
In having us throw out what we had learned back then from books, and others, and after filling us with Siddha stuff only to have us drop that too, and now comes to rewrite the whole thing from a different context, I am beginning to wonder what is this game of depending on others to solve our problems? I am beginning to wonder what is this game of having others bring on the bliss within? What then is this game of having us drown in rituals? What is this game of having seekers gaze at the flame of an oil lamp or frown upon a point in the forehead or other spots, all about? All these are to bring the Manam or our state of mind and all its activities to a closure. When this happens nothing is important or required further. The mind that is so used to holding on to thoughts and actions has to be freed. Lord Murugan came to remind me of a verse from Agathiyar's song "Manamathu Semmai Aanal" which speaks on this. This is "Summa Erupathu", the state of Sivam. The energies that are Sakti coil up and retreat back to their source, returning to the state of the unborn just as we were in our mother's womb Samadhi. And so too they have left me free to do nothing.