Wednesday, 13 March 2024

LOVE WINS EVENTUALLY

Watching the ending moments in the movie "Kushi" made me remember Agathiyar's words to us as a family recently. The story about a believer and an atheist and their ways of exerting the principles they held on to in other's lives including their children comes to a compromise where each male parent lays down his principles for the welfare and good of their children.

The young man's father: "Don't worry. I shall complete the Homam however long (the rain) takes (to stop). I would lose out to you. You shall be the winner. It is not a big deal. But my son shall be fine. That is enough."

The young girl's father: "When your son came to my home and told me he shall follow what I had asked him to do (lighting the Homam), I was not thinking about my victory. I saw the love your son had for my daughter. Even now when you entered the temple and stood before me giving in to my wishes to conduct the Homam, I did not think about my victory. I only saw the love you had for your son. While fighting over my shastras or over your principles, we forget that we are humans. What is the point?  Before I could call it off, God intervened (as rain) and called it off. He will take care of both our kids."

I am reminded of how the temple priests I consulted over my daughter's wedding guided us wonderfully. Since they had loved each other he told me the horoscope was not important, as their Manam or hearts had merged in union. It was always fated he said. Beyond this, "Leave it to God" he said.

The young man tells his wife, "If this oblation can settle our love, I would have agreed to do it long back. I wanted both of us to overcome all these and become stronger."

She poses a question to him. "What do you mean by strong? Is it only to threaten or split ways each time we have a fight? Fights will happen. Being strong means we shall be together even in a fight. It might be a fight to you, but it was a show of love. We are girls. When we cannot voice out certain things to our fathers and husbands, we look up to God. We tell him. Yet I left that God whom I loved and cherished for you. Where shall I go if you ask me to leave." 

"I am still learning (the lessons of life)", answers the young man. "Let us demonstrate to the world so that they shall say that there is no couple as loving as us. Let us prove it."

Earlier when the young man submits to attend the Homam and requests his father to come, the father refuses telling him to forget his wife. The young man places a question to his father asking him why he held on to his mother who believed in temples and rituals when they knew pretty well that she did not support him as an atheist for 30 years. The father answered that she was his wife and that he loved her. 

Agathiyar told me and my wife all the above and asked my children to carry out our 60th wedding soon. We should be an exemplary couple he said.

மண வாழ்க்கை என்றால் என்ன?

What is married life?

இரு ஆத்மா ஒன்றாகிறது.
Two souls come together (in matrimony).

இதற்கு வேறு அனுபவம் இருக்கும். அதற்கு வேறு.
This (soul) shall have had a unique experience. The other something else.

இருவரும் கலந்து... அதில் அழகான குடும்பம் வரும்... இரு குடும்பம் சங்கமம் ஆகும்... உங்களின் பக்தி, அனுபவம் அவர்கள் கற்பிப்பார்.
In coming together... a beautiful family emerges... two families come together...they shall learn about your devotion and experiences. 

மண வாழ்க்கை என்பது அழகான வாழ்க்கை.
A married life is a beautiful life.

மண வாழ்க்கையில் பல ஞானம் உண்டு. அதிக ஞானம் பிறக்கும். அந்த அனுபவம் வரும் பொழுது உணர்வீர்கள்.
There is much Gnanam to be gained in a married life. Much Gnanam shall dawn. You will understand when you come to experience them.

உங்களுக்கு எல்லாம் நன்றாகத்தான் அமையும்.
It will turn out good for all of you.

ஏன் என்றால் குழந்தையிலே வந்துவிட்டாய் அல்லவா? 
Because you have come (to the path) as a child.

அழகாக இருக்கும்.
It would be beautiful.

புரிந்துணர்வு. இருவரும் ஒன்று இணைந்து இறைவனை வணங்குவது. ஒரு சமுதாயத்தை சீர்படுத்துகிறீர்கள். அந்த குழந்தைகள் பெரிதாகி ... அது தலைமுறையாக வரும்... அழகான வாழ்க்கை இது.
Understanding (between life partners). Both coming in unison in prayer to God. You tend to transform a society. When these children grow up.. it becomes a generation... living a beautiful life.

என்னை பற்றினாள், கணவனை விட்டு, மனைவியை விட்டு, விலகிவிடுவார்கள். இது என்ன நியாயம்? நான் மனைவி உடன் தானே உள்ளேன். என்னடா வீண் பலி என் மீது? நான் என்ன கொடூரமானவனா? பிரிப்பேனா? வீண் பழி போடாதீர்கள் என் மேலே.
(It is generally believed that) If you come to me (my path), the husband has to leave or the wife has to leave. What utter nonsense is this? It is unfair. I too am with my wife (Lobama). Why accuse me unjustly? Am I such a monster? To separate couples. Do not accuse me.

என்ன நடந்தாலும் இருவரும் ஒன்றாக சமாளிப்பது. இறைவனை ஒன்றாக நாடுவது. அது ஒரு அழகிய பயணம். ஒன்றாக முதுமையில். கிடைக்கும் அந்த அன்பு. அந்த பரிமாணம். அது வேறு. உனக்கு நான், எனக்கு நீ. நாம் இருவருக்கும் அகத்தியன்.
Whatever happens, a couple sailing through it together. Both seeking God together. Aging together. The love that blossoms together. That platform is entirely different. It is indeed a beautiful journey. You for me, me for you. Agathiyan for both of us.

அடுத்த தலைமுறைகள் உருவாக்க வேண்டும் அல்லவா?
We need to work on the next generation right?

எவ்வளவு அழகான வாழ்க்கை இது.
What a beautiful life.

இவர்களின் வாழ்க்கை பயணமே உதாரணம். எவ்வளவு போராட்டம் உங்களுக்குள். (இருப்பினும்) எவ்வளவு அனுசரிதல். எவ்வளவு விட்டு கொடுத்தால். இதுதான் அழகான உதாரணம்.. எவ்வளவு அன்பான வாழ்க்கை பயணம்.... முதுமை பெற்ற உன் வாழ்க்கை.
Your life journey should be an example. So much of giving in though facing battles. So much tolerance. This is a beautiful example. What a loving journey. Aging graciously. 

60ம் திருமணம் செய்யலாமா? 
Shall we conduct your 60th wedding?

செய்யுங்கள். ஆம் செய்து ஆகவேண்டும். இவ்வருடம் செய்யுங்கள். (இது) முன் உதாரணம் (ஆக இருக்கட்டும்). இதை செய்யுங்கள். 
Do it. You must do it. Do it this year. Be an exemplary couple. 

60ம் திருமணம் எதற்கு என்றால் அனோனியமாக உள்ளார்கள், இதை பார்த்து நீங்களும் வாருங்கள், என்று அர்த்தம். வீண் செலவு அல்ல.
The reason for conducting the 60th wedding is to show others how close you are and bring them to live like you. It is not waste of money.

அதற்கு தான் இதை செய்ய சொல்கிறோம். உணர்வார்கள் மற்றவர்கள், அந்நியோன்னத்தை கண்டு நாங்களும் இப்படி இருக்க வேண்டும் (என்று). 
That is why I am asking you to do it. Others would understand the importance of living together through thick and thin and till the last days. 

உங்களை கண்டு அவர்களுக்கும் ஒரு லட்சியம் வரும். நாமும் முதுமை ஆனால் இவர்களை போல் இருக்க வேண்டும் (என்று). மக்கள் அப்படி சொல்ல வாழ வேண்டும்.
Seeing you both they too would resolve to live like you. They should desire "One should be like them". One should live to hear people say that.

மக்களுக்கு உதாரணமாக இருங்கள்.
Be an example to others.

இது மறக்க முடியாத ஒரு அனுபவமாக இருக்கும்.
This would be an unforgettable experience.

நீ மாப்பிள்ளை. முதுமை அடையவில்லை. எவ்வளவு அழாகான வாழ்கை தெரியுமா? இது எல்லாம் யாருக்கு கிட்டும்? உங்களுக்கு கிட்டும்.
You are the groom. Still youthful. Do you know what a wonderful life it is? Who would get to live this life? You have it.